Love on the rocks.

Parts 1 and 2 have brought us to this stage of my better-bank-deal quest.

Thank you so much for reading and responding!

Today the plot finally crystallises.

Bert

As Sheryl the Specialised Case Manager presaged, Bert the Bank Manager and I had ‘fruitful conversations’ (via email).

Alas, the fruit was small, hard and bitter:

1. No relief on annual or monthly fees.
2. A total annual interest saving of … wait for it … $126.

Barry

I told Barry the Twitter Team Guy.

No response.

Con

Con the Home Loan Officer rang me once more for good measure, but to no effect.

Sheryl

I had an email chat with Sheryl (pleasantries removed to save space):

Hi, Sheryl,

Just thought I’d have a quiet word with you while I deliberate.

Do you feel happy with how this resolution is panning out?

Hi, Paul,

I am only happy if you are.

I can see that Bert is trying his best to assist you but ultimately the decisions will lay with you.

So Paul, are you happy with the way this is panning out?

Having achieved a mere 6.3% of my target saving of $2,000 I feel rather deflated.

I can’t tell whether this is truly the best ABank can do, or whether it’s the best they can do for a ‘little person’ like me.

After all this time and effort and drama, a saving of just $126 per year seems pretty paltry.

It doesn’t really inspire me to forge a 40-year alliance with ABank that showers us both in riches.

I think I may have to wait to see what the Choice initiative comes up with.

If it turns out that you guys really have done the best you can for me, I’ll accept my $126 with grace and apologise humbly for wasting everyone’s time.

If, however, Choice turns up a raft of significantly better deals, I’ll probably feel very let down that you guys couldn’t do likewise for me ahead of time.

Does this description of how I feel make sense to you, Sheryl?

To be honest saving money and discussing lending matters via email is not as effective as a verbal conversation… would you consider a conversation with Bert? This may lead to further options.

I assure you we want to help and we are doing all that we can at this moment. We would love to see you as one of our long term customers so I think it is time for an actual chat. Your thoughts?

As a writer, verbal isn’t my forte.

That’s probably why I’ve failed in all phone and face-to-face discussions to date.

I understand that much business is conducted this way.

I don’t understand why these ‘further options’ can’t be put in print. When I first took my loans, the terms were written in great detail.

Unless, of course, you’re talking about a negotiation – which I find even less desirable.

My readers have been following this story with interest.

As I feel confused and dispirited, I’ll seek their objective advice before getting back to you.

I do realise you’re trying, Sheryl.

I suspect I’m simply unsuited to your systems.

Paul

I’m tired, disheartened and torn.

Should I:

a)    Accept my modest fate.

b)    Battle on via email or Twitter.

c)    Pick up the phone.

d)    Send the wife in.

e)    Turn this into a novel and pay my loans with the proceeds.

f)     Change banks.

g)    Try something else (describe).

Unless you (or Choice) come up with something significant,

this could be …

The End

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

Where have all the comments gone?

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True love at last?

Thank you for reading Part 1. (If you haven’t, here it is.)

So there I was, clutching my mouse mat with anticipation of my bank’s direct message (DM).

Sure enough, it came through, requesting my contact number.

I replied that, since all prior phone conversations had failed, I’d rather communicate by email.

My bank agreed, so I sent my email address.

Minutes later, my phone rang.

Cold Call

It was my bank:

Hi, Paul it’s Con* here. I understand you’d like to talk about your home loans?

Hi, Con. Did you just get referred to me by your Twitter colleague?

Yes. Now, how can I help you?

Did your Twitter colleague not tell you I wanted to do this via email?

It’s my preference to do it by phone, Paul. Now, before we start: this call may be recorded for training purposes …

Con, I don’t want to do this by phone.

No worries, Paul; what’s a good time to call you back?

I got off the phone and DMed my bank. Having since deleted our DMs in frustration. it went something like this:

Nice. I ask politely to be emailed and I get another phone call!

I’m so sorry! I specifically requested them not to call you.

I appreciate your efforts, and I realise big systems can thwart good intentions. But I feel I’m flogging a dead horse here.

I’m still really keen to help you.

Thank you, but never mind. It’s futile. I’ve wasted enough time on this exercise.

In a fit of pique, I then un-followed my bank, making it impossible for them to DM me. I scanned the public Twitter domain (where we’d met) to see if they’d try a shout out, but they didn’t.

Write Down

The next day, after writing Part 1 of this story, I realised my un-follow was churlish.

I was also possibly doing myself out of a (happy?) ending.

So I re-followed my bank. They were still following me, so my next DM got through (verbatim):

Me again. Now that I’ve written this up http://bit.ly/oJZEXh I realise I need to give you 1 more chance to help me via email …

… I’ll be writing Part 2 on Monday. How the story ends is up to you. Please, no more phone calls!

My bank DMed:

Hi Paul, I’ve escalated this & you’ll receive an email from our team tmrw as we’re still really keen to help

With my mouse mat now chewed to pulp, the email finally arrived:

Hi Paul,

I hope you are well.

Barry* from the Twitter team has asked if I can help you with your Home Loan enquiries.

Firstly, please allow me to apologise that a call was made to you despite your request for an email only. I assure you our intention was to provide you with a high level of service it was not to cause you any frustration.

To help me get the information you are after regarding interest rates can I ask that you explain what you are after in terms of your lending.

For example the Line of Credit is not actually a product offered by SomeBank* so we can not offer a comparison. However perhaps if we change it to variable rate loan we maybe able to offer something on the interest rate?

Just so you know I have already been in touch with your banker regarding your loans so we can see what we can do for you, he just wants a little background information so he can respond appropriately. Also we will communicate as much as possible via email however there maybe times where it is best to chat via the phone.

I look forward to your email and seeing what we can do for you.

Sheryl*

Specialised Case Manager

Special Treatment

I certainly felt like a specialised case. But would there be management? I emailed:

Hi, Sheryl.

Many thanks for your email.

Thanks also for contacting my banker. (Who is he, by the way, and where?)

This is my current situation:

LOC:               6.97%

HOME:           7.17%

Yet I’m seeing rates as low as 6.69% from several institutions.

I consider myself a stable and reliable client. (Please correct me if I’m wrong!)

A glance at my accounts will show my financial situation is steadily improving.

I’d like to forge a long-term partnership with you guys so that when I’m black in the black, you can handle my investments.

I’d therefore like my two rates to reflect what the market is offering.

I’d also like a break on my annual and monthly fees.

Most of all, I’d like to achieve a positive result without any more faffing around.

I’d like you to say what you can do, rather than what (and why) you can’t.

If you can’t do anything for me, that’s cool. Just say, ‘SORRY PAUL, NO CAN DO!’ and I’ll move on.

I’ve invested so much time trying to communicate with you guys, I’m very, very close to the point where it’s just not worth the effort.

In trying to save less than $2000 per year, we’re really not talking sheep stations.

I could’ve (should’ve!) earned that much in the time I’ve invested in this process.

I’m trying to be reasonable, Sheryl; but if you disagree, we should probably just call it quits.

I don’t want to waste your time too.

Best regards, thanks again and good luck!

P.

Sheryl emailed:

Hi Paul,

Thanks for a prompt reply.

I have included your banker Bert* into this email so you can both have some fruitful conversations about your loans.

Bert will be able to assist you and take a look at your profile and see what we can do.

Dont worry I will be here in the background to make sure you are taken care of.

Have a great weekend.

This was better. I felt like I’d made progress.

Maybe, just maybe, I would have a great weekend.

…

Then I heard from Bert.

<<<<<<    INTERMISSION 2!     >>>>>>

Egad! We’re still not done!

Will Bert save the day or sink the fleet?

Will professional passion trump passive aggression?

For the answers to these and other mind-snapping questions, don’t miss the (final?!) gripping episode of: A Fool & His Money, Part 3!

Meanwhile I warmly welcome your ideas, observations and stories.

 * Not his/her/it/their real names.

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

Where have all the comments gone?

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                                     Facebook: sliced bread or spookarama?

I don’t like Facebook.

It gives me the willies.

I’m only on it because a neighbour plans a Facebook campaign to avert a skyscraper from our tiny street.

I wonder what you think of Facebook.

Best Friend

I have one Facebook friend: my wife.

Yet I’m getting invitations to reconnect with people I’ve not seen for years.

And with whom I parted on less-than-ideal terms.

I don’t wish to hook up with old flames.

I’ve no time for school bullies. (Other than to exact revenge.)

The colleagues I escaped by leaving various jobs haven’t improved with age.

Nor do I wish to:

• Poke people.
• Build a mafia family.
• Tend an imaginary farm.
• Share drunken photos of myself with strangers.

Missing Links?

If Facebook were a country, it’d be the world’s third largest. (Thanks, Irma.)

This is not a number to ignore lightly.

But I know Carol agrees the commercial advantages of Facebook are, to put it very mildly,

elusive.

The only thing I like about Facebook is appearing on MYOB’s wall.

The rest of it drives me up it!

About Face

But let’s be fair.

I’m a big Twitter fan, yet millions think Twitter is useless drivel (because, at first glance, it seems exactly that).

Yet, having mastered Twitter, I think the critics are wrong.

So there’s every chance I’m wrong about Facebook.

Face Off

To me, Facebook seems populated by creeps; foul-mouthed infants; bored stay-at-home folk and ranting, flaming maniacs.

None of whom can spell.

Barely a week passes without some awful media report of an (allegedly) Facebook-related law suit, privacy invasion, hate crime, injury or even death.

I got so spooked by Facebook, I designed this T-shirt.

Am I completely missing the point?

Facing Facts

I expect a hearty debate here.

If you feel I’m wrong, tell us how Facebook helps you or your business.

If you think I’m right, how did you arrive at this position?

Let’s turn my frown upside down and enjoy some

Facetime!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

                   Barry’s 2:23 video turned a total stranger into a person of interest.

I love flagging superior business communications.

And I’ve been raving about the power of video for readers with the attention span of gnats.

Last month I saw both these elements beautifully combined.

When I woke in the morning, Barry Moltz was a stranger.

By noon, that had changed forever.

All because of his YouTube introduction.

Stranger than Fiction

It began on Twitter, when I RTed* a fascinating Penelope Trunk post.

I saw this was generating hot debate, so I checked to see who else had RTed it.

Four people appeared on my TweetDeck^ screen.

I figured anyone who dug Penelope was bound to be interesting, so I followed all four.

One was Barry Moltz.

As often happens with seasoned Twitter users, Barry followed me back and DMed^† me:

Paul- Thanks for the Follow. Here is a short vid that tells more http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8WZ5aTxs4Y Tell me how I can help!

I rarely reply to these DMs as they’re often automatically generated.

But Barry had taken the time to use my name. And you know how powerful that is.

He also mentioned a video.

I thought, ‘I’m too lazy to read who he is, but I could watch a video.’

Then I saw the short in short vid and thought, ‘What the hell? Let’s check it out.’

Fast Impression

I was immediately impressed by Barry’s video because:

• He looked at the camera.
• His voice and body language were engaging.
• He had a nice office.
• The production values (i.e. sound, light, focus) were very good.

Lasting Impressions

I continued to like Barry’s video because he:

• Admitted that his first business failed.
• Mentioned his wife.
• Listed his services without being boring or pushy.
• Held up his three[!] books.
• Joked about how he couldn’t read the one in Korean.
• Described his hobbies (with passion).
• Used cute props to reinforce his points.
• Gave a sense of his success without being up himself.
• Did the whole video in one take.
• Kept it short.

Room for Improvement?

On closer inspection, I sense Barry may have used autocue. This is absolutely fine. But if I found that he did the whole thing off the cuff, I’d be even more impressed.

My only (tiny) quibbles are that:

• The video runs half a second too long and the final frame is unflattering.
• In his DM, Barry could’ve condensed his long YouTube URL (e.g. with bitly).

Mind you, this analysis comes from a bloke who can barely video bats, dogs and birds.

I Want One!

I wish I had a tenth of Barry’s presence.

I wish I had the gumption to make a video just like his.

I keep reading that video is the future, and I believe it.

I believe it, because it worked on me: a writer!

The important question now is:

Did Barry do it for you?

* Retweeted.

^ Free application for easier Twitter use.

^† Sent me a Direct Message.

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

Having just clocked one year and 10,000 followers on Twitter, I felt I should report my learnings.

At first I thought I’d just cover basic stuff (e.g. who to follow, how to list, behaviours to avoid).

Then I realised Twitter ‘truths’ were far more important than Twitter ‘tips’.

It seems impossible such a simple (and apparently frivolous) application could impart wisdom, but there it is.

So here I go.

1.   Be yourself.

Genuine humans thrive in Twitter. Fakers, flooders and floggers (though infuriating) do get smacked down in due course.

This isn’t obvious to the casual observer, who understandably concludes Twitter is crap.

Yet when you open yourself to a community and reveal true elements of your life and loves, everyone enjoys the exchange.

Being yourself is also easier than maintaining a fake persona. As Mark Twain said: ‘When you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything’.

2.   Be open.

I began Twitter to get more copywriting clients. I achieved that and gained a suite of handy contacts, fascinating colleagues and loyal friends from sectors, countries and professions I never thought I’d encounter.

Because I was open to these people, they named me in magazines, featured me on blogs, recommended me to others and sent me a truckload of free ideas and information.

This rich, unexpected education has been amazing. I’ve seen and done things way beyond my expertise and comfort zone.

I feel stronger, safer and more mature as a result.

3.  Choose quality.

A thousand nameless fans aren’t as fun, useful or interesting as one genuine contact. Yes, I have 10,000 followers. No, I can’t interact meaningfully with them all.

I can, however, pick the gems from the dross and build real relationships with a few dozen kind, clever cats.

4.   Be generous.

I’ve long been a fan of the saying ‘you can’t give good away’. Seth Godin says likewise in his latest freebook. Twitter has shown me time and again this is true.

Online, the Law of Mutual Reciprocity is SO powerful, it needs BIG metaphor:

It’s like spitting out the window of a 300 km/h bullet train. Before you can blink, it comes back at you in a thousand irresistible fragments. Try it! (Online, I mean.)

5.   Focus.

If you straddle several chairs you’ll probably fall between them. It’s the same with social media.

You can’t possibly be good at LinkedIn and Facebook and blogging and YouTube and Flickr and Twitter and all the others.

You’ll never see the sun!

Instead, check them all out, choose the one or two that feel right for you (and your clients) and spend time being open, genuine and generous there.

Twitter and blogging are my faves. The concerted effort I invest in these is well worth it.

That’s my story, anyway. How about you?

Are you Twitter friend or foe?

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

Introducing Stephen Hamilton! Many of you may know Stephen from his myriad enlightened comments on SBO over the past 12 months or so. Today we welcome his maiden guest post on a topic that many of us find pretty darn annoying…getting decent IT help.

I’ve worked in IT for most of my working life. Please don’t hold that against me.

Like you, I’ve witnessed first hand the puzzling, pathetic, or just plain paltry levels of service many regular folk seem to receive at the hands of many in my industry.

You know what I’m talking about: you ask a simple question and you receive an astonishingly complicated answer in a language best described as ‘geek-speak’.

Or despite promises and guarantees that have lead you to reasonably expect a specific result from a product or service, you’re provided with something that apparently does nothing, except force you to interact with antagonistic persons euphemistically called customer service representatives.

It’s enough to drive you insane! Well maybe not quite, but sadly it’s often enough to make many people adopt a ‘near-enough-is-good-enough’ attitude. It seems that putting up with the pain of imperfect service is less than the pain of trying to rectify the problem.

Allow me to make three points:

1. It doesn’t have to be this way (Yes, there are many individuals and companies who give fantastic customer service)
2. Putting up with poor service only benefits those giving poor service
3. It doesn’t have to be a hair-pulling experience to switch to a better service

Maybe the top two statements are obvious.  The third statement is a little trickier. It’s the prospect of change, and the perceived friction that accompanies it, that often stops people from taking positive steps to improve the situation.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Want proof?

Look no further than the recent experience of SBO’s very own Paul Hassing. Paul was having some problems with his ISP. They weren’t one-off issues; Paul had recurring problems that were never resolved to his satisfaction. Sound familiar?

Paul broached the issue with his readership. He received lots of sympathy, but more importantly he was assured by many of his readers that this was a torture he didn’t have to endure. There were alternatives. Paul rightly tried to rectify the situation with his incumbent ISP, but sadly these efforts came to naught.

He decided to take the plunge and switch ISPs. But to whom would he turn? Again, the ‘collective wisdom’ of the community came to his rescue. Many made good suggestions, and in particular Sonia Cuff and I recommended Internode.

Paul checked out the quality of this advice by once again turning to the collective wisdom of another community, one that has a specific interest in ISPs, Whirlpool.net. He was very impressed by the Customer Appreciation Thread for Internode.

Thus, Paul was able to confidently make a decision to move to an ISP that offered better service.

What does this mean for you?

Let’s consider the takeaways from Paul’s experience:

1. First, Paul needed to make up his mind that change was needed, and was going to happen
2. Paul canvassed his community and network for advice. Twitter is becoming, in my opinion, increasingly useful for this. Even if you don’t have a blog with lots of readers, or a Twitter account, you can still do the same. Pick up the phone and ask you friends, colleagues and even IT people who give you a different product or service for their opinion
3. Paul checked the quality of these referrals with others that had direct experience with the recommended service, or could give expert, impartial advice
4. He acted on the info he received, thus reducing the pain he felt trying to get customer service

You can do the same. And this doesn’t just stand for finding a better ISP. Not happy with your computer network maintenance? Sub standard results from your line-of-business software? Lousy helpdesk? All of these issues can be fixed – you’ll feel less pain, and more often than not you’ll save time and money in the long run.

So whaddayagunnadoabowtit?

Stephen Hamilton

Is Twitter relevant to your small business? Guest blogger Joanna Maxwell shares her experiences with the popular microblogging tool and explains how it’s helped her business.

It seems you can’t turn around these days without tripping over a reference to Twitter. Most people have at least a hazy idea that it has something to do with ‘microblogging in maximum 140 characters’.

I started my social media adventures with Facebook (which I only joined because my favourite online scrabble game went there).

After a while I got interested in social media for my own business and now I’m on Twitter and Facebook, LinkedIn, Squidoo, Ning and more…

Twitter in particular has brought me contacts, ideas and information…it’s like a river flowing past my door, that I can dip into whenever I like.

I became so fascinated that I recently wrote an article for the Australian Financial Review BOSS magazine called ‘Beyond Twitter’, May 2009 issue. 

So how do you get started on Twitter? Here’s five tips:

1. Joining is easy at the twitter website. Be careful when you choose a username, because it will appear on every post you make and can’t be changed. If you are joining for business reasons, choose your business name or at least something that won’t embarass you later! (I am on Twitter as @workincolour).

2. Follow a couple of people to start with. This means you will see a stream of their posts and also posts from others that they have retweeted (like forwarding). If any of these look interesting, follow them too. Feel free to follow me.

3. You can search for people here, or search for subjects that interest you here.

4. Stuck? Watch the ‘get started’ video here or find answers to FAQs. One of the best websites about social media is http://mashable.com/.

5. Once you have the look, download a twitter organiser like Tweetdeck which means you can highlight your favourite people and have easier access to all the twitter functions.

The best way to get the hang of Twitter is to jump in and see what you find.

Hope to see you in the twitterverse!

Joanna Maxwell, Owner, WorkInColour

Connect with Joanna on Twitter and LinkedIn

Part 2 of 2

So there I was, simultaneously promoting free T-shirts and $120/hr copywriting on the same Web 2.0 channels. Visitors to my websites must have felt like they’d entered a dentist’s surgery, only to find themselves in a jumping castle.

I ignored all I knew about conveying a constant, relevant and significant message to a target audience. I vainly chased the holy grail of passive income (which has been beautifully defined as ‘working 18 hours a day to make money while you sleep’).

Finally, I woke up and went back to my main game. The game I’d spent 22 years and two degrees honing. I started writing about copywriting, and sending people to my copywriting site.

I soon caught the eye of Anthony, a web template designer who was rebuilding his own website. When he questioned me about copywriting (and I didn’t try to flog him a T-shirt) he asked me to quote on optimising his words.

Anthony liked my proposal and gave me a trial job. Though it took several hours to get a grip on the open source world of Joomla and its bewildering jargon, I did the job to his satisfaction. He told me to bill him. He paid the next day. $363 cash. That’s a lot of T-shirts.

A few days later, Anthony asked if I’d like to do an interview for his onsite blog. No payment, just my logo and URL prominently displayed. Free from my monetarised mentality, I said yes.

The result is now seen by many daily visitors to Joomla Bamboo (prospects I’d not have encountered otherwise). Twitterers from Anthony’s world are now following me, and vice versa.

When Anthony asked for a second article, I put everything I had into it. The result was so pleasing, I asked if I could leverage it with MYOB. He said yes, myBRC was rapt and you can read it here.

Meanwhile, I used Digg to cross promote my other myBRC copywriting articles about audiences, mission statements and job ads.

I was back on song. Instead of spreading myself thin, I was making the same call on every channel. The web had ballooned, but I had my pin. My visitor statistics jumped so much, I realised it was time to upgrade my own website (stay tuned for that one).

Each day now connects me with more of the people I want to learn from and do business with. It’s only a matter of time until I gain my next paying client from Twitter. I’ve even been approached to tell my story in a significant print publication (stay tuned for THAT one).

If the open-handed approach isn’t popping your balloon, focus your energies on one point: the pin is indeed mightier than the broad. I’m so happy with my breakthrough, I designed this ace T-shirt!  

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, www.thefeistyempire.com

Part 1 of 2

It’s hard to pop a balloon with open hands; the force dissipates over too great an area. A pin in two fingers gives a dramatically superior result. When you focus all your energies on one point, you all but guarantee success.

This post and the next show me using both methods. As we go, you’ll see some Web 2.0 jargon – all of which I’ll explain in detail down the track. For now, just watch this crazy, new-fangled social media stuff in action.

Here’s me spreading myself too thin (i.e. using the open-hands balloon-popping method):

My ten Squidoo lenses are here.

When I started Twitter, I sent my followers to this lens in particular.

This was to create custom for my REMO T-shirt site.

I got some sign-ups and sales and was particularly happy to connect with a clairvoyant in Washington (I’m in Melbourne, Australia). She was attracted to my palmistry t-shirt. We’d never have ‘intermet’ otherwise.

Then, the founder of REMO joined Twitter. I gave him some tips. I followed him, he followed me.

He found my Squidoo lens, liked it, retweeted it, then made me Featured Customer in his weekly newsletter to 38,500 people in 125 countries!

I got traffic spikes galore.

I was so elated with all this action, I blogged about Twitter here and here.

Big smiles! Fantastic fun! Wall-to-wall warm fuzzies!

Alas, despite having spent hundreds of hours on these exciting, new activities, I didn’t make enough actual cash to buy one soy Frappuccino (even if I’d wanted to).

It was at this point that I began to wonder – to my wife’s profound relief – whether I should focus on my ‘real’ job of writer, editor and proofreader.

Harnessing the web’s fickle and elusive power to this specific activity (the ‘pin’) is the subject of my next post.

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, www.thefeistyempire.com