Love on the rocks.

Parts 1 and 2 have brought us to this stage of my better-bank-deal quest.

Thank you so much for reading and responding!

Today the plot finally crystallises.

Bert

As Sheryl the Specialised Case Manager presaged, Bert the Bank Manager and I had ‘fruitful conversations’ (via email).

Alas, the fruit was small, hard and bitter:

1. No relief on annual or monthly fees.
2. A total annual interest saving of … wait for it … $126.

Barry

I told Barry the Twitter Team Guy.

No response.

Con

Con the Home Loan Officer rang me once more for good measure, but to no effect.

Sheryl

I had an email chat with Sheryl (pleasantries removed to save space):

Hi, Sheryl,

Just thought I’d have a quiet word with you while I deliberate.

Do you feel happy with how this resolution is panning out?

Hi, Paul,

I am only happy if you are.

I can see that Bert is trying his best to assist you but ultimately the decisions will lay with you.

So Paul, are you happy with the way this is panning out?

Having achieved a mere 6.3% of my target saving of $2,000 I feel rather deflated.

I can’t tell whether this is truly the best ABank can do, or whether it’s the best they can do for a ‘little person’ like me.

After all this time and effort and drama, a saving of just $126 per year seems pretty paltry.

It doesn’t really inspire me to forge a 40-year alliance with ABank that showers us both in riches.

I think I may have to wait to see what the Choice initiative comes up with.

If it turns out that you guys really have done the best you can for me, I’ll accept my $126 with grace and apologise humbly for wasting everyone’s time.

If, however, Choice turns up a raft of significantly better deals, I’ll probably feel very let down that you guys couldn’t do likewise for me ahead of time.

Does this description of how I feel make sense to you, Sheryl?

To be honest saving money and discussing lending matters via email is not as effective as a verbal conversation… would you consider a conversation with Bert? This may lead to further options.

I assure you we want to help and we are doing all that we can at this moment. We would love to see you as one of our long term customers so I think it is time for an actual chat. Your thoughts?

As a writer, verbal isn’t my forte.

That’s probably why I’ve failed in all phone and face-to-face discussions to date.

I understand that much business is conducted this way.

I don’t understand why these ‘further options’ can’t be put in print. When I first took my loans, the terms were written in great detail.

Unless, of course, you’re talking about a negotiation – which I find even less desirable.

My readers have been following this story with interest.

As I feel confused and dispirited, I’ll seek their objective advice before getting back to you.

I do realise you’re trying, Sheryl.

I suspect I’m simply unsuited to your systems.

Paul

I’m tired, disheartened and torn.

Should I:

a)    Accept my modest fate.

b)    Battle on via email or Twitter.

c)    Pick up the phone.

d)    Send the wife in.

e)    Turn this into a novel and pay my loans with the proceeds.

f)     Change banks.

g)    Try something else (describe).

Unless you (or Choice) come up with something significant,

this could be …

The End

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

Where have all the comments gone?

We love hearing what you have to say, and stories you might have, so fear not, you’re still able to comment!  We’ve moved the party over to our new place, The Pulse.  Come and join the conversation on this post here.

Blink and you may miss it.

Here’s a business tip I learnt the hard way:

If you get a gig, job, order, project, piece of work or commission, do it NOW.

If you don’t, it may not be there tomorrow.

For several reasons.

Unkind Cut

A large IT firm gave me 100 recruitment ads to critique.

I toiled for much of Easter, getting 50 done.

Then I rewarded myself with a couple of days off.

When my client returned to work, he found his budget slashed by overseas corporate masters.

He was forced to cancel the project.

He paid me for what I’d done, which was half of what I could’ve done, had I pressed on.

As this happened when I was just starting out, I felt the revenue loss keenly.

Mind Altering

I was asked to source radio jingles for an automotive firm.

I offered the job to Adam, who quoted $3000.

The client approved the quote and Adam pulled several all-nighters to write, perform and record some rippers in double-quick time.

But before I could send them to the client, she abruptly changed her mind and tried to cancel the project.

Fortunately, I still had her email approval, so we had her cold.

Had Adam waited a few days, he’d have missed out on a lucrative gig.

Off Balance

Of course, this hot-iron-striking advice flies in the face of all our warm fuzzies about taking care of ourselves in business.

We’ve had wonderful suggestions about negotiating realistic deadlines, operating within our limits, maintaining work-life balance and so on.

But as GFC II threatens, I wonder if we can afford to dawdle on such shifting sands.

Vexed issues are best handled by the fine minds that inhabit this space.

And so I put it to you.

Your View

When you get a piece of business, do you:

a)    Luxuriate in the prospect and do it as, and when, you see fit.

b)    Seize it as if it were your last meal on earth and devour it on the spot.

c)    Attend to it fairly smartly, but without unseemly haste.

d)    Handle it some other way (please describe).

?

The clock’s ticking.

Let’s get to work!

…

No?

…

How about later?

…

…

Never mind.

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

To thrive in business, look beyond your game.

We can reasonably describe business as a game.
There are certainly winners and losers.
Gaming is an important analogy.
These days, it’s not enough to merely play the game.
Because chances are, your customers are playing the metagame.

What’s the Metagame?
The metagame comprises all out-of-game elements that affect in-game decisions.
You’re playing the metagame if:

• Having learnt from past poker nights that I’m a bluffer, you ‘see’ me more often.
• Having read that tanks are popular with wargamers, you proactively build anti-tank guns.

So what’s this got to do with business?

Creamed
I needed sour cream.
Out of sympathy, I went to the lady grocer being crushed by the new kid on our block.
She had cream, but it was a day past use-by.
I asked what became of post-use-by food.
She said she threw it away.
Given use-by dates’ error margin, I considered this a waste and a missed recycling opportunity.
So I asked if, since the cream had zero value to her, I could have it.
She said I could, if I paid for it.
Here the game ended, and the metagame began.

Game On
The grocer’s reply was understandable in the context of her business.
But not in the context of looming competitors and pedantic greenies (the metagame).
She alienated me by:

• Offering to sell a technically worthless item.
• Preferring to trash food rather than generate goodwill with a regular customer.

From wanting to support her, I couldn’t wait to cross the street to her rival.

Not Just Me
This thing scales.
When big retailers ran full-page ads demanding GST for online shopping, they ignored the metagame.
Instead of convincing government, they alienated their customers and drew even more attention to online shopping.
Tiny, seemingly insignificant decisions can lose you customers for life.
I grant that I’m a twitchy case. But in these tricky times, I don’t think any of us can relax in the comfort of our long-cherished (yet possibly quite perilous) perceptions.

The Tribe Speaks
What elements (if any) comprise your metagame?
Do your customers play it?
Do you?
Have you ever ditched a supplier (or lost a client) due to something way out of left field?
Tell us about it.
We love hearing your thoughts and stories.

Survivors ready!

…

GO!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

Today we welcome Sheila Smith, author of The Birthday Dragon, which she proudly self-published this year.  Sheila candidly shares her experience of launching her own business, and the mistakes she learnt from along the way.  Thanks for joining us, Sheila!  Emma

As I prepared to self-publish my first book, The Birthday Dragon, I thought (rather smugly) that the business side would be easy. Experienced in publishing and in business generally, I wasn’t going to do anything silly. Yes, that’s the sound of my forehead hitting the desk.

Not only did I do it all wrong, I didn’t even do what I already knew! What was I actually doing when I should have been getting the business side squared away? Well… mostly coughing while I formatted until my eyes bled.

As a one-person business, there was only me to get things done.  And I simply wasn’t all there. I’d come down with the flu, which was the topper to a ghastly six months for me. So, right as I published my book (in a fever-dream), I spent a couple of weeks in a state of semi-collapse.

If I could do it all again, I’d do plenty of things differently.  Here’s my top five mistakes.

1.      Don’t forget your launch plan. You need it where you can see it. Consider having it tattooed inside your eyelids, or on the forehead of your beloved. I forgot to look at my plan. Completely.

2.      Emotions are great fuel, but don’t leave your brain behind. Someone bought a copy of my book, emotion took over and my mind went completely blank. I forgot I was even launching a business.

3.      Don’t be vague. I was planning to launch sometime in June, thinking I was avoiding pressuring myself. But sometime on May 30th, while in a flu haze, I became obsessed with publishing on June 1st. This is probably how the first edition ended up with an entire scene accidentally deleted from chapter one!

4.      Even no-budget launches need marketing and PR. I made a few semi-hysterical tweets about my book’s debut. Sales went into double figures on the first day. I thought this might happen in a few months. In shock, I was convinced (in my delirium) that it would be arrogant to note who mentioned buying it. I did thank them though!

5.      Without my support systems, I was fail. I ignored my friends. Several marketing and PR lovelies sent long thoughtful emails, to which I said mostly “Argh no!”. Instead of figuring a way to use what they suggested, I had knee-jerk reactions based on my current (ill, over-emotional, reclusive) circumstances. Part of my problem was an inability to see even simple solutions, and my plan – that I wasn’t looking at – needed an escape clause written in.

It’s my own fault. Excuses are symptoms of a deeper malaise. When I planned my book it was done with flexibility in mind. I even shifted my narrator from one character to the next, and the plan (with the flock of attendant spreadsheets) took it all. With inflexibility, and by ignoring good advice, I lost that golden period where a book has the gloss of ‘new release’ shining on it.

I’m confident about overcoming this shaky start, but I’ve made it hard for myself, and where’s the sense in that?

What lessons did you learn along the way when starting your own business?

Sheila Smith, Author, The Birthday Dragon

                                                      Going … Going …

In response to my recent topic struggle, Naomi kindly offered some suggestions.

Top of her list was: Elevator Pitch.

As someone who avoids cities, buildings, elevators, people, hands, eyes and conversations, I’m not the best possible ambassador for this important business tool.

This, however, creates a magnificent opportunity for you to step in.

Definition

Wikipedia’s (Empire-abridged) definition of elevator pitch is:

A summary used to quickly and simply define a product, service or organisation and its value proposition.

The name reflects the idea that it should be delivered in the span of an elevator ride (around 30-120 seconds).

Elevator pitches are used in venture capital applications, job interviews, professional service summaries and speed dating.

Pitch Black

I’ve never used an elevator pitch.

The closest I’ve got was doing the home page for my new website.

This was the hardest piece of writing I’ve ever done.

Here’s what I came up with (modified for elevator use):

My Pitch

Every communication builds or erodes your brand.

I’m the expert who can make all your communications perfect.

Perfect communications ensure your growth and prosperity by:

• Delivering your message,
• In the best possible way,
• So your audience does what you want.

By helping you reach the top of your field, my premium writing, editing and proofreading services pay for themselves many times over.

Ta da!

Actually, I don’t think that’d convince anyone.

Which is a shame, me being a copywriter and all.

The good news is, the only way is up!

Your Marvellous Opportunity

Why not give us your elevator pitch?

If you’re feeling cagey, remember this blog is promoted to thousands of small- to medium-sized enterprises.

That’s a lot of eyeballs on your stuff.

Batter Up!

Enter your pitch in the comment box below.

Press the button.

And watch your fortunes ascend!

…

…

…

DING!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

                                                  Not with those shoes!

As we’ve gathered a galaxy of brilliant brains to this blog, there’s something I wish to ask.

Something that’s been bugging me for decades:

Does exclusive actually mean anything in business?

I’m not sure it does.

A Lot of it about

Google yields 0.9 billion results for exclusive. That’s thrice more than for bread.

It’s obvious exclusive is widely used in commerce. There are firms who deal in exclusive:

• Backpacking.
• Photography.
• Hardware.
• Swimming pools.
• Catering.
• Wrought iron.

I can’t fathom who these firms are excluding, unless it’s prospects who are old, ugly, unco, poor, fat or frail. (That’s me gone!)

In these fragile times, it’s hard to imagine vendors knocking back anyone with a great wad of cash in their hand.

Am I being too literal again?

Raw Deal

The same reasoning applies to exclusive deals. I’ve never seen a deal that excluded anyone who had the loot to pay for it.

One furniture chain advertises their wares as ‘exclusive, not expensive’.

I’ve since found the same claim for products as diverse as paint, flowers, kitchens and real estate.

What the hell does it all mean?

Limited Patience

A further ploy is the use of ‘limited edition’ on everything from cars to laptops to numbered, collectable (adorable!) hand-painted newborn porcelain dolls with (gorgeous!) lifelike eyelashes.

I understand that creating an illusion of scarcity is a tactic to drive up price.

But does anyone really believe there aren’t 50 spare container loads out the back for every limited-edition product on offer?

Setting Limits

In my business, I exclude clients who lie, play mind games, set impossible deadlines, devalue my work or fail to pay.

But I exclude them after they actually do these things, not before they’ve even picked up the phone.

These days, the original exclusive brands like Louis Vuitton (1854) and Swarovski (1895) are anything but. (Especially in Japan, where they’re crazy for the stuff.)

These and other formerly exclusive names have become so endemic, they’re now called luxury brands. That doesn’t stop the hordes forking out top dollar for them.

Come in, Spinner!

So, exclusive; is it a:

• Hollow echo of the past?
• Throwaway term tacked on to evoke caché?
• Fair dinkum statement of business practice?

Do you exclude customers from your company?

If so, is the exclusion explicit or situational?

Can you name one brand or product for which exclusivity is a legitimate commercial device?

Space is limited (as is time).

So don’t miss out …

Comment now to avoid disappointment!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

                                                Have you been tempted?

These days, ‘conflict of interest’ seems to mean:

If it’s in my interest, there’s no conflict!

I don’t quite see it that way.

But I have.

Old School

When working for an ad agency, I was surprised to find myself writing for two BIG FIVE* clients in the same week.

I strive to do my best. So unless two clients have markedly different stories to tell, I feel conflicted that I can serve only one properly.

This means the second client gets a lesser deal, which upsets me.

As there was little light between these two clients, I asked the boss if we could cut one free and give the other our all.

I argued that in so doing so, we’d:

1. Capture the high moral ground (and thus sleep well at night).
2. Help our remaining client dominate their market (resulting in a growing spend).
3. Differentiate ourselves as a truly ethical supplier (and thus gain new, like-minded clients).

The boss regarded me as if I were insane, then explained that our foreign masters would be highly unamused if we sacked a million-dollar client for ethics.

The trouble was, we only had one studio.

As work for both clients grew, we told them we had separate creative facilities for each. Though technically true, the separation was a line of masking tape on the carpet and a direction not to look when the other side was printing.

One day, the bigger client sacked us, citing conflict of interest.

Not long after, the second client also left. As did many staff.

Conflict resolved.

New School

When I went freelance, I finally had the glorious chance to practise what I preached.

Instead, terrified of insolvency, I grabbed every client I could.

So much for ethics!

To my knowledge, no client was harmed in the conflict; but that’s splitting hairs.

It’s only now, years later, that I can ‘afford’ the luxury of focusing on one client in each sector.

But some things still sting.

Not Again!

Lately I’ve been doing a truckload of work for a BIG FOUR client.

Last week I was offered a job for this company’s arch rival.

The gig was perfect: fun, lucrative, interesting and right up my alley.

I could’ve done it without anyone knowing.

But that wouldn’t have been right.

So I knocked it back with gritted teeth.

My grateful client told me they were loyal and that I’d be rewarded.

There was talk of karma.

The Great Wheel

So, I’ve gone from angel to mercenary and back again.

I’ve learnt that conflicts of interest, while appearing external, really dwell within.

So how strong is your moral compass?

Have you foregone instant loot for chronic brownies?

Did you come back as a sea-eagle?

Do you think business and ethics can coexist?

Or, in today’s cut-throat world,

do good guys finish

last

?

* i.e. five fierce, roughly equal competitors dominated this sector.

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

                                                  

                                                     I had it, but lost it.

Early adopters are where it’s at.

While fairly hip to the groove, I got a very nasty shock on dipping my toe in the iTunes pool.

The following lesson may save you from losing your entire music collection.

It also teaches the value of taking extra special care of customers new to what you do.

Apple Virgin

As a former DJ, married to a dancing queen, I had many CDs.

Long a PC advocate (despite their many failings) I was wary of Apple iTunes.

Then Fonnie inexplicably received a free iPod shuffle when buying jeans.

Suddenly there was no barrier to exploring this extraordinary new technology.

Hats off to Apple, I thought.

Learning the Steps

We worked out how to load some of our CDs onto iTunes.

We bought a few new iTune songs for good measure.

Then we transferred 281 tracks to our free aluminium fragment.

Suddenly, we had enough music to drive us interstate. And back.

The Great Declutter

I was sold.

Very soon, so were our CDs.

After months of persuasion, Fonnie agreed to burn all our CDs to her PC, after which I liquidated them on eBay.

I revelled in reclaimed space. Never had I been paid to tech up.

Fonnie was less enthusiastic, fearing for the safety of our 3,173 hits and memories.

The Great Promise

No worries! I cried. We can back up our music to your new iPhone!

If the iPhone goes down, we’ve got the PC.

If the PC goes down, we’ve got the iPhone.

She’ll be right, Mate!

Then the PC went down.

I replaced the hard drive and reinstalled all software.

But I could NOT back up from the iPhone.

The Great Depression

Two lifetimes of music, gone in a heartbeat.

I called my Hardware Guy.

Then my Software Guy.

Neither could help.

My Hardware Guy asked an Apple Store Guy who said:

If you buy songs from iTunes, you can get them back, but if you acquire songs from CDs you lose them. Welcome to the Kingdom of Apple!

I was extremely upset.

And too terrified to tell Fonnie her worst fear had been realised.

Forensic Foray

After two weeks of deep sadness, an IT colleague offered to recover our music files from the damaged hard drive.

I’d read that the only way to secure private data was to smash dead drives with a large hammer.

I’d been keen to do this, but something had stopped me.

The following evening, all our songs were restored – minus the CD artwork I’d painstakingly scanned, cropped and optimised.

Decision

Words can’t describe my relief.

What I can describe is my decision to abort our imminent iPad and MacBook Pro purchases.

I was on the brink of becoming an Apple convert.

But a system, however elegant, which compels newbies to abandon their old worlds is not for me.

It’s like me telling new clients they’re forbidden to use the words ‘expert’ and ‘service’ on their websites.

This saga concerns CDs. Imagine if I’d moved my entire business to a new system, then lost everything because I missed something in the manual.

Early adoption has its place. But from now on I plan to do a bit more looking before I leap. Lest I end up an orphan.

I’ll also be taking much greater care of new customers unfamiliar with my wares.

What say you?

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

Daniel Smith, founder of social media marketing consultancy Propaganda House, joins us on the blog today. Daniel discusses the need for investment in a business idea and is keen to hear about your own experiences and thoughts. Welcome Daniel! Naomi

When you look at Successful Big Businesses it’s easy to think that’s how they’ve always been. On the contrary, every successful big business starts its life as an idea inside the excited mind of an entrepreneur. The biographies of countless successful business people will tell you that the trek between ‘idea’ and ‘successful business’ is a long and arduous one, not dissimilar to the treks of the early explorers who opened up undiscovered regions of the globe for future generations.

Following this analogy – many of these early explorers wouldn’t have been successful in their treks without the backing of investors to who provided the much needed funds for equipment, supplies, and support personal. And the same applies for a business idea.

No matter how good the concept, most businesses at some stage require outside investment to fully conceive and take their earnings to the next level. Take Facebook for example; just 7 years ago this was an idea inside the head of a pimply university student – skip forward and it now has 500 million users and is valued at over $50 billion! BUT, without initial seed capital Facebook may never have become what it is today – and heaven forbid, we might all be using ‘MySpace’ or even worse having ‘face to face’ social interaction instead..

Having a great idea and finding someone who believes your idea is great enough to put their hard earned on the line for are completely different things though. Couple this with the need to find an investor whose experience, skills and attitude will align neatly with those of the business founders and you’ve got a real challenge on your hands! But if Columbus could convince Queen Isabella to invest in his ambitious (and at the time considered impossible) voyages then there’s no reason it can’t happen for a comparatively less ambitious business idea; and it does every day.

As the owner of a Social Media startup looking for funds to take it to the next level, I’m interested to hear how others have taken their business from idea to a thriving enterprise; where did you find your seed capital; angel investor, family, colleague? Or maybe you grew your business organically, without seed capital? Either way I’d love to hear your story!

Daniel Smith, founder of Propaganda House

                                      Fine in principle. What about practice?

Have you heard of the Pareto Principle (also called the 80-20 rule)?

It says that for many things, 80% of the results come from 20% of the causes.

In business, this means 80% of your revenue comes from 20% of your clients.

I’ve found this principle extremely useful.

But does it work for you?

Numbers Game

I run a spreadsheet that tracks all my business metrics.

So far this year, 80% of my revenue has come from 29% of my clients.

The last two years it was 36% and 30%.

I’m a bit off the pace, but this is because I’ve vigorously reduced risk by increasing and diversifying my client portfolio.

You may recall I lost one client worth 82% of my business and took two years to recover.

Talk about all your eggs in one basket!

I won’t do that again.

Tardy Performer

For years I encountered the Pareto Principle in almost every business book I read. But because it sounded technical, I resisted analysing my customers.

This was so dumb. Once I bit the bullet, it took all of ten minutes to collate the figures.

And jolly useful figures they’ve been, too.

Anger Management

When my top client annoys me, I check my spreadsheet.

If a retort imperils 28% of my income, I bite my tongue (and do something really nice for the client).

If, on the other hand, a 0.1% client is demanding freebies, refusing to do proper briefs and complaining about my work, I know I can ‘retire’ them with relative impunity. (And live a longer, happier life.)

Cents of Perspective

This year, my biggest client has spent almost 200 times more than my smallest.

I prize all client relationships. But next time I have conflicting deadlines, who do you think I’m going to squeeze in first?

Insights like this make the Pareto Principle a wonderful commercial ‘compass’.

The fact I was slow to embrace it makes me wonder if you’re tracking this vital stat.

If you are, I’d love to know how you use it and what you reckon.

If not, here’s a quick recipe for success:

Pareto Pronto

1. List your clients vertically.
2. Add up what they’ve paid this year and put each client’s total next to it.
3. Sort clients in descending order of value.
4. Calculate total revenue for all clients.
5. Express each client’s contribution as a percentage of this total.
6. Working down, see how many clients it takes to account for 80% of your revenue. (A cumulative column makes this a snap, if you know how to spreadsheet.)
7. Divide this figure by your number of clients.
8. Bingo! You now know what percentage of your clients generates 80% of your loot.

How did you go?

Is it close to 20%?

Do please let us know.

That way, we can all see if we’re rank amateurs

or principled performers.

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire