All this hit my letter box in just two days!

I must get a proper NO JUNK MAIL sign.

Each time my home-made one falls off, I have a Brazil moment.

Someone, somewhere, must benefit from this bumf.

But who?!

• Client companies?
• Ad agencies?
• Graphic designers?
• Printers?
• Paper mills?
• Plantation foresters?
• Walkers?
• Dogs?
• Customers?
• Australia Post?

Certainly not me. How about you?

Do you like receiving unsolicited print advertising?

Is (or was) it part of your business marketing mix?

Captive Audience

Keep Australia Beautiful and Eco Voice want us to read catalogues online

A fine idea. So far, they have … six.

Either it’s early days, or we really like ads in our letter box.

I’ve heard older people look forward to them as bona fide reading materials.

Perhaps the appeal is more widespread.

Perhaps I’m missing the point.

Here’s Australia Post’s take, with a handy link to Do Not Mail.

I wish they cared as much about their rubber bands.

My Do Not Fax registration ran out recently, but that’s another story.

Sign of the Times

With regard to stickers, I could move to Willougby where they’re giving ‘em away.

Maybe NO JUNK MAIL is too terse.

Perhaps I should go with the softer No Advertising Material Please.

I wonder if it makes a difference.

Boxed in

In one of my lean years, I tried a casual brochure delivery job.

By faithfully obeying NO JUNK MAIL signs, I had many brochures left over.

The distribution firm:

• Accused me of not doing my job.
• Ordered me to ignore the signs.
• Threatened to do spot checks in my territory.

When I later found great bundles of fliers dumped in vacant lots, I realised why I wasn’t trusted.

I also saw other ‘walkers’ in action. (Never any kids, though; unlike decades past.)

Some posted so carelessly, the merest zephyr strew their stuff across the street.

Not a good look for the firms who’d paid to feature.

I wrote to several, flagging their wasted budgets.

A couple replied, but without enthusiasm.

Here & Now

As our world hurtles to ruin, I feel the need to query unsolicited print advertising once more.

Therefore, do you:

• Make it?
• Get it?
• Use it?
• Love it?
• Hate it?

We’re at a crossroads.

Show us your papers!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

What’s the magic word?

We’ve seen how business strap lines can become part of mainstream culture.

How about words?

Hoover, Xerox and Google all went from brand names to generic English terms.

Can we give our brands a similar boost?

Word Up

In almost every book he writes, Seth Godin either invents or takes control of another term, from permission marketing to purple cow to linchpin.

These terms have helped cement his place as a global thought leader.

Should we, as businesspeople, do likewise?

Liferal

I’ve been trying to get liferal in the dictionary for years.

It wasn’t doing much, until it featured on national radio this month.

The ABC kindly agreed to add an Empire link and suddenly I’m getting more traffic from here than anywhere else.

Having the nation’s broadcaster pointing at my site should boost its search engine ranking.

Will this translate into business? Probably not immediately or directly.

But it should add to my long term momentum.

Swagger

Our Mike Boyle is also on a word quest.

As a sales specialist, he’s been trying to find (or create) the perfect word to encapsulate the quality of a great salesperson.

Here’s what Mike says about his term, swagger:

Sales people aren’t born; they’re trained. High performance sales comes from developing through four stages:

1. Build a sales PROCESS.
2. Conduct ACTIVITY around that process.
3. From your wins and good losses build SWAGGER.
4. Through refinement create sales EFFECTIVENESS and efficiency.

Of these, swagger is the key enabler of rock-star sales people.

We’ve racked our brains to find a different word, because swagger doesn’t quite cut it.

Poor sales people are arrogant and pushy. Great sales people have a certain rare vibe/force/thing about them that makes them stand out. A calm urgency, coolness with persuasion, confidence with empathy and directness with rapport.

These behaviours, seemingly at odds, perfectly describe swagger. The trouble is, swagger can also mean pompous.

So I’ve also toyed with sales essence, but it’s still not right.

If your readers have a better word, I’d love to hear it!

Say the Word

The best I can come up with is elan (energy, style and enthusiasm).

Mike doesn’t think this beats swagger. He’s still searching.

If he succeeds, the world will know him as the bloke who invented the magic word.

Can you suggest a better term than swagger, sales essence or elan?

Failing that, do you have a special word you’d like to promote?

If not, what’s your favourite made-up (or appropriated) word and who owns it?

What good has it done them?

This forum is open,

sesame!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

Do you have a slogan that sticks?

The ripping response to our elevator pitch debate got me thinking of an even shorter (yet possibly more important) business branding element.

The strap line.

Also called the tag, tag line, end line, slogan and motto, this is a short, memorable phrase designed to connect consumers with a product, campaign or organisation. (Once again, Wikipedia nails it.)

For such a tiny device, tags can pack a BIG punch.

So let’s check ‘em out.

Word Association

Do you recognise these tags?

Products

• Avagoodweekend.
• Puts a rose in every cheek.
• Get one or get lost.

Organisations

• We try harder.
• Think different.
• For all creatures great and small.

Campaigns

• Got milk?
• Life, be in it.
• Yes we can.

See what I mean?

Needful Things

Coca Cola is odd in that they change their tag like there’s no tomorrow. I was stunned to see the extent of it.

To me, this extreme variability suggests they have zero to say (nyuk nyuk), but put an awful lot into saying it. However, it doesn’t appear to have done their megabrand status any harm.

Then you have what’s arguably the mother of all tags:

• Just do it.

I don’t use the products, but I like the simplicity, stability and stress of this statement.

Chickening Out

This month, KFC (formerly Kentucky Fried Chicken) replaced their 50-year-old Finger-lickin’ good tag with:

• So good.

Again, I don’t eat the stuff, so this change doesn’t affect me.

Do you think it’s good or bad for the brand?

My Tag

My early Feisty Empire tags were lame*:

• Anything with words.

Too vague. No implied or intrinsic benefit.

• Clear, concise, correct communications.

Death by alliteration!

Luckily, brilliant Adam invented my current tag when designing my logo:

• Fighting words.

I love it – as do many clients: a rare confluence!

Not only is it short and nice to say, it has two meanings:

1. I give clients powerful words with which to win market share.
2. I fight bad words (e.g. long, wrong, tired words).

Question Time

If you have a tag:

1. What is it?
2. What does it mean?
3. How did you get it?

If you don’t have one:

1. Why not?
2. Do you want one?
3. Would you like everyone in this forum to brainstorm suggestions?

Tag:

you’re it!

* Though rather better than Coke’s 1966 effort!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

                                                      Going … Going …

In response to my recent topic struggle, Naomi kindly offered some suggestions.

Top of her list was: Elevator Pitch.

As someone who avoids cities, buildings, elevators, people, hands, eyes and conversations, I’m not the best possible ambassador for this important business tool.

This, however, creates a magnificent opportunity for you to step in.

Definition

Wikipedia’s (Empire-abridged) definition of elevator pitch is:

A summary used to quickly and simply define a product, service or organisation and its value proposition.

The name reflects the idea that it should be delivered in the span of an elevator ride (around 30-120 seconds).

Elevator pitches are used in venture capital applications, job interviews, professional service summaries and speed dating.

Pitch Black

I’ve never used an elevator pitch.

The closest I’ve got was doing the home page for my new website.

This was the hardest piece of writing I’ve ever done.

Here’s what I came up with (modified for elevator use):

My Pitch

Every communication builds or erodes your brand.

I’m the expert who can make all your communications perfect.

Perfect communications ensure your growth and prosperity by:

• Delivering your message,
• In the best possible way,
• So your audience does what you want.

By helping you reach the top of your field, my premium writing, editing and proofreading services pay for themselves many times over.

Ta da!

Actually, I don’t think that’d convince anyone.

Which is a shame, me being a copywriter and all.

The good news is, the only way is up!

Your Marvellous Opportunity

Why not give us your elevator pitch?

If you’re feeling cagey, remember this blog is promoted to thousands of small- to medium-sized enterprises.

That’s a lot of eyeballs on your stuff.

Batter Up!

Enter your pitch in the comment box below.

Press the button.

And watch your fortunes ascend!

…

…

…

DING!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

                                                  Not with those shoes!

As we’ve gathered a galaxy of brilliant brains to this blog, there’s something I wish to ask.

Something that’s been bugging me for decades:

Does exclusive actually mean anything in business?

I’m not sure it does.

A Lot of it about

Google yields 0.9 billion results for exclusive. That’s thrice more than for bread.

It’s obvious exclusive is widely used in commerce. There are firms who deal in exclusive:

• Backpacking.
• Photography.
• Hardware.
• Swimming pools.
• Catering.
• Wrought iron.

I can’t fathom who these firms are excluding, unless it’s prospects who are old, ugly, unco, poor, fat or frail. (That’s me gone!)

In these fragile times, it’s hard to imagine vendors knocking back anyone with a great wad of cash in their hand.

Am I being too literal again?

Raw Deal

The same reasoning applies to exclusive deals. I’ve never seen a deal that excluded anyone who had the loot to pay for it.

One furniture chain advertises their wares as ‘exclusive, not expensive’.

I’ve since found the same claim for products as diverse as paint, flowers, kitchens and real estate.

What the hell does it all mean?

Limited Patience

A further ploy is the use of ‘limited edition’ on everything from cars to laptops to numbered, collectable (adorable!) hand-painted newborn porcelain dolls with (gorgeous!) lifelike eyelashes.

I understand that creating an illusion of scarcity is a tactic to drive up price.

But does anyone really believe there aren’t 50 spare container loads out the back for every limited-edition product on offer?

Setting Limits

In my business, I exclude clients who lie, play mind games, set impossible deadlines, devalue my work or fail to pay.

But I exclude them after they actually do these things, not before they’ve even picked up the phone.

These days, the original exclusive brands like Louis Vuitton (1854) and Swarovski (1895) are anything but. (Especially in Japan, where they’re crazy for the stuff.)

These and other formerly exclusive names have become so endemic, they’re now called luxury brands. That doesn’t stop the hordes forking out top dollar for them.

Come in, Spinner!

So, exclusive; is it a:

• Hollow echo of the past?
• Throwaway term tacked on to evoke caché?
• Fair dinkum statement of business practice?

Do you exclude customers from your company?

If so, is the exclusion explicit or situational?

Can you name one brand or product for which exclusivity is a legitimate commercial device?

Space is limited (as is time).

So don’t miss out …

Comment now to avoid disappointment!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

                                                The writing’s on the wall.

When it comes to good English, there are two schools:

1. It’s a load of useless nit picking.
2. It’s utterly vital.

When it comes to good English in business, I have one thought:

• Get it right, or else.

It’s not just me who thinks this. Check these quotes:

I’m not going to apply for a company that can’t spell.

Job applicant. From the guide: Optimising Your Job Ad Writing on SEEK.

If a mistake isn’t mine, but my name is on it, I have the offender shot.

Winston Marsh. Business consultant and conference speaker.

Well spotted. / Great catch! / Thanks so much for picking that up.

Three of the world’s most powerful bloggers, whose errors I’ve flagged.

So where do you stand?

All Sorts

I ask because many people don’t think good English is necessary in commerce.

In recent years, I’ve heard a disturbing number of business owners articulate a common theme:

Errors make me look human. I leave (or even put!) them in so I don’t alienate my readers.

I find this philosophy gobsmacking, and not just because I’m a copywriter.

When I was a human resources manager, poorly spelt resumes went straight in the bin.

Not due to some elitist ethic. But because poor attention to communication (just like dirty shoes and blood-test cannabinoids) reliably indicated disorganised thinking and slack attitudes.

Voice in the Wilderness

When I switched from HR to copywriting:

• The ‘Three Rs’ were a faded memory of our education system.
• Software spell checkers had (apparently) removed the need for brains.
• TXT communic8ions introducd a brutl shrt& dat mNE usrs cldn’t differenti8 frm nrmL Eng.

I envisioned a golden age in which I, the modern scribe, would make a fortune perfecting communications for those who’d lost the power.

Unfortunately, plummeting literacy meant those writing bodgy comms were unaware of their errors.

Like most of their readers.

I had to scramble to the high end of the market, or lose my mind (and shirt).

It Only Takes One

I concede that in many day-to-day interactions, you can get away with poor English.

But if you run a business, there will come a day you need to:

• Write a watertight contract.
• Attract a brilliant team member.
• Secure a fat grant.
• Win a pivotal tender.
• Impress a lucrative prospect.
• Outperform an arch competitor.
• Issue a public statement.
• Avert a court case.

And though there may be just one nit-picker per hundred thousand citizens, you can bet your bottom post-GFC dollar that person will be a critical link in your food chain.

Therefore my questions to you are:

1. Why risk botching your messages with unforced errors in a fragile economy?
2. Do you really prefer dealing with those who can’t tell write from wrong?

I wrmly w31com UR vwz.

Kthxbye!

(LOL, ROFL, LMFAO, Hahahahahahahaha etc.)

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

                         Information → Power → Money → Time → Freedom → Joy

                                                   (Click pic to enlarge.)

Our Judy Oldmeadow is going great guns with her dream to breed the world’s finest Morgan horses.

Last time I visited her farm, I asked what her financial goal was.

It took a while to extract, but we got there.

She wants $30K for every horse she sells.

That’s $22K more than she’s getting now.

Is she dreaming?

No!

Show, Don’t Tell

The good news is, Judy’s horses are actually worth $30K.

The problem is, many of their youbeaut attributes are long term, intangible or not part of the normal purchasing decision process.

Things like health, longevity, temperament, social adjustment and blood magnesium level.

We must therefore articulate and prove these points of difference to prospective buyers.

Word of Mouth

Judy’s past customers, having experienced her Morgans’ superiority, have no problem evangelising to others.

One by one, we’re capturing their powerful (and often moving) testimonials in Judy’s blog.

But this is a slow, incremental process.

To fast-track Judy’s message to uninitiated prospects, I’ve proposed a breakdown of precisely what makes her critters so damn good.

Picture Perfect

The pic you see is my first rough sketch of a ‘proof page’.

It lists everything I can think of that goes into (or comes out of) a Samaria Creek Morgan horse.

Judy’s task is to perfect this list and put a dollar figure beside every element.

I know this is hard for her.

She’d rather play in the sun with the herd than crunch numbers any day.

Also, she feels odd thinking of her beloved babies in such rigorous, clinical terms.

That’s why she has a gimlet-eyed townie copywriter to smack her into shape.

It’s one thing to want $30K.

Quite another to convince people to give it to you.

Once finished and posted on her website, I believe this proof page will do much of Judy’s talking – freeing her to focus on her main game.

Your Story

Many of our readers own or aspire to the top end of their field.

• Big sales are fun.
• Rich clients are smart. (Sometimes.)
• Short hours are heaven.
• Supplying world’s best quality is intensely satisfying.

If you share Judy’s desire to be lonely at the top, how about producing a proof page for your good or service?

I’d love to know why your stuff is worth so much.

I might even buy it.

So saddle up!

You could be in for the ride of your life.

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

   

                                        Have your muesli and eat it too!

Our Flip Shelton just had a HUGE win with her new all-Australian breakfast range.

And all we had to do was ask.

This good news story proves it’s possible to change a system from without.

Which is very good news for you.

Made to Measure

Flip said to me:

I’d love your thoughts on these options for the Australian Made logo on my labels, website and promotional materials:

I don’t like redundancies or ALL CAPITAL letters, so I said:

Hi, Flip! Can you not have:

Australian grown
made & owned

Flip said:

Might be meddling with an institution but I’ll request it!

…

A week later, she said:

Thought you’d be thrilled to know that Made in Australia has approved my request to use:

The even better news is that we’re the only ones in Australia using this because no one else has ever asked!

Yay us for being individually fabulous!

Wonderful Win

I was indeed thrilled to bits at Flip’s news.

Not just because I think she and her products are fair dinkum and deserving.

But also because she was prepared to challenge the status quo despite her misgivings.

My favourite sayings include:

• Shy bairns get nowt.
• Fortune favours the brave.
• You don’t ask, you don’t get.

I believe this tale proves them true.

Your Turn

So, what fabulously unexpected thing can you do to change your game?

There’s an awful lot of fear and inertia around these days.

It’s the perfect time to dazzle everyone with your brilliance.

Sock it to us.

We’ll be eating out of your hand!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

                                     Facebook: sliced bread or spookarama?

I don’t like Facebook.

It gives me the willies.

I’m only on it because a neighbour plans a Facebook campaign to avert a skyscraper from our tiny street.

I wonder what you think of Facebook.

Best Friend

I have one Facebook friend: my wife.

Yet I’m getting invitations to reconnect with people I’ve not seen for years.

And with whom I parted on less-than-ideal terms.

I don’t wish to hook up with old flames.

I’ve no time for school bullies. (Other than to exact revenge.)

The colleagues I escaped by leaving various jobs haven’t improved with age.

Nor do I wish to:

• Poke people.
• Build a mafia family.
• Tend an imaginary farm.
• Share drunken photos of myself with strangers.

Missing Links?

If Facebook were a country, it’d be the world’s third largest. (Thanks, Irma.)

This is not a number to ignore lightly.

But I know Carol agrees the commercial advantages of Facebook are, to put it very mildly,

elusive.

The only thing I like about Facebook is appearing on MYOB’s wall.

The rest of it drives me up it!

About Face

But let’s be fair.

I’m a big Twitter fan, yet millions think Twitter is useless drivel (because, at first glance, it seems exactly that).

Yet, having mastered Twitter, I think the critics are wrong.

So there’s every chance I’m wrong about Facebook.

Face Off

To me, Facebook seems populated by creeps; foul-mouthed infants; bored stay-at-home folk and ranting, flaming maniacs.

None of whom can spell.

Barely a week passes without some awful media report of an (allegedly) Facebook-related law suit, privacy invasion, hate crime, injury or even death.

I got so spooked by Facebook, I designed this T-shirt.

Am I completely missing the point?

Facing Facts

I expect a hearty debate here.

If you feel I’m wrong, tell us how Facebook helps you or your business.

If you think I’m right, how did you arrive at this position?

Let’s turn my frown upside down and enjoy some

Facetime!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

                        Brilliant differentiation in a crushingly homogenous market.

When I used to use hotels, they all seemed the same to me.

Now that I don’t use them, they seem even less differentiated.

Except for one, that has penetrated my oblivion.

The Westin.

Bed Written

I first heard of the Westin years ago. Someone told me I HAD to stay there for the experience (even though it was just 3 km from my home).

This seemed an unnaturally rabid extolment. I didn’t go, but I wondered what the big deal was each time I passed the building.

The other week, Fonnie handed me a brochure entitled Heavenly Beds at The Westin Hotel.

The hotel claimed its beds were so good, people were buying them.

I checked the site. These beds were going for up to $3,650!

And people were coughing up hundreds more to have the same linen they’d slept on.

And not just a few people: 33,000 of the buggers!

Pillow Talk

This got me thinking:

1. Man, there sure are a lot of rich cats in the world.
2. I wish I were that rich.
3. That must be a bloody good bed.
4. How clever of the hotel to offer it for sale.
5. It’s a whole new profit centre for them.
6. It’s also a killer point of difference.
7. The other hotels must be livid.
8. Beats the crap out of my ebook.
9. What could I sell that would open a whole new revenue stream for me?
10. Super duper red editing pens?
11. Not much margin on those.
12. And who uses red editing pens besides mad copywriters, anyway?
13. Hmmm. I need to think beyond the text box …
14. I know! I’ll tell this story on Small Business Owner.
15. I’ll ask readers what they think.

Bed Time

• Have you slept on a Westin Hotel bed?
• Is it as good as they say?
• Would you buy one / have you bought one?
• Do you agree this is a brilliant initiative?
• Does your business have a product that equates to the Heavenly Bed?
• If not, what could you sell that simultaneously makes money and differentiates your brand?

Tough times demand innovative measures.

Wakey wakey!

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire