Do you share dark days with clients?

Disease is visiting my family.

I’ll spare you the details; it’s life and we all must live it.

The question is, do our private lives concern our customers?

Family Feud

Fonnie and I differ on so little, it’s significant when we retain opposing views.

Hers is that family affairs have nothing to do with business.

Mine is that clients appreciate candour and humanity.

Fonnie is wise.

My business is successful.

So who’s right?

Our chronic debate has covered many scenarios. See what you think.

Gone to the Dogs?

If I missed a client phone call due to walking my dogs, I used to apologise and say as much.

Fonnie argued that my unsolicited admission would win few votes, especially from those toiling daily in windowless rooms.

I recognised the difference between truth and blurting and am now less forthcoming.

House Call

Last week I had to cancel a client meeting due to a pivotal family medical appointment.

Against Fonnie’s advice, I told two client representatives in broad terms what was going on.

One was sympathetic; the other annoyed.

A tie.

Truth or Dare

I’m fully booked for the next fortnight. Yet it’s highly likely my family will need me during this time.

If they do, I’ll put them first.

But what, if anything, should I tell clients whose deadlines I miss?

Have you ever phoned a supplier to be told, ‘He’s in a meeting’ and you know he isn’t?

I’ve even heard (disgruntled) secretaries say, ‘He’s gone to the pub’ or ‘He’s on the toilet’.

I see here that discretion is preferred.

But if someone I seek is tending a loved one, I’d much rather be told than deceived.

In my book, to understand is to forgive.

Body Blow

On the other hand, some people fling family matters in your face like a smoke screen.

When I advised our architect that her $3000 laundry plans (developed over weeks) made no provision for our washing machine, she promptly cited a miscarriage and stopped taking my calls.

Then there’s grey areas. For instance, does a snake bite wield less gravitas on a teen than a toddler if they’re both your kids?

Help!

I won’t lie to clients.

But I don’t wish to bore them with matters they consider irrelevant.

I feel my approach should be situational, but I’m crap at reading situations.

I therefore rely on your views to illuminate this picture.

What do you think of life, death, customers, family, the universe and all that?

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

Last week I beheld a new level of business torment.

A woman devoid of support and overrun by systems, elements and offspring.

How do people manage to combine kids and commerce?!

Hot Mama

I was visiting a packing-and-sending place.

It was hot out and not much better in, as a loading bay countered the office air conditioning.

After a while, a flushed woman emerged from a corral of half-wrapped plasma screens.

Her smile was drawn.

To her right, a baby inched off a foam mat.

From another room came toddler talk, followed by a clattering sound.

‘What are you doing, Jason?’

…

‘Jason?’

CRASH!!!

The woman dashed to the noise.

Maid to Measure

She returned to the counter with an apology.

I asked for a quote to send my package.

She rifled back and forth through a price book that looked as worn as she did.

Finally, with what seemed great mental effort, she calculated the fee.

I chose to buy cardboard tubing and post it myself.

As the woman cut the tubing to size, she nudged the baby back onto the mat and glanced to her left for Jason.

He emerged from her right and confronted me with a large, whippy, metal tape measure.

The woman disarmed him and shepherded him back with the tube before laying it on the counter.

‘Five dollars, thanks.’

‘No worries; could I have a receipt please?’

‘Sure.’

Money Pit

As she took out an old-fashioned receipt book, the phone rang: a customer inquiry.

She put the prospect on hold, fished for carbon paper and failed find a blank receipt.

She fossicked in a drawer for another book with such mounting despair that I told her not to worry.

But she pressed on, scribbling out the details of a cancelled receipt and writing mine.

I apologised for taking up so much of her time for a measly five bucks.

She nodded her thanks and returned to the phone, but the prospect had hung up.

Jason vanished.

The baby crawled.

The plasma screens beckoned.

And the hot wind slammed the front door behind me.

Family Matters

I simply could not work under these conditions.

Could you?

Do you?

Do you know others who juggle business and family?

Tell us a story!

We’re sitting comfortably …

Please begin.

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire

Megan brilliantly suggested that my wife describe her experience of my home-based business. Fonnie’s job title at The Feisty Empire is Voice of Reason – a thorny, thankless role that she performs admirably.

Now, while the Voice of Reason was happy to share her thoughts on life at Empire House, she wanted the Senior Writer to record them. Here, then, are her authorised impressions, good and bad.

Happiness

My former career in human resources was grinding me into a paste. Desperately unhappy and longing for change, I was very poor company. When Fonnie backed me to pursue a career in writing, I was transformed. Though (like everyone) I still have bad days, I’m infinitely more content.

Abnormality

When Fonnie wakes at 5.30am, I’m often already at my desk. When she comes home at 7pm, I’m still there. I sneak away during TV ad breaks to check my emails (sometimes not to return). Walking the dogs, I can talk Empire for the whole 6 km. Fonnie occasionally wishes for a husband who leaves work at work.

Freedom

When Fonnie takes leave, so can I; there’s no boss to beg. If she’s sick, I can drop everything to drive her to the doctor. If she wants a weekend away, I can take Friday or Monday off (provided I don’t have pressing deadlines). Just as she helps me, I’m able to do chores for her – like collecting dry cleaning or interstate visitors any time of the day.

Worry

When work goes quiet and revenue stops flowing, Fonnie worries. A lot. The five months from last November were particularly sepulchral, and Fonnie wasn’t convinced that teaching myself Web 2.0 was a better activity than drumming up new business.

Fortunately, Fonnie now realises that Web 2.0 was definitely the way to go. The work is flowing better, but there’s still no way we can tell if my last job was … my last.

Pride

Fonnie’s proud of what I do. She likes to read this blog and is impressed with my new website. She tells her friends when I’m in the media and stayed up all night to listen to my first graveyard shift. Her pride, wisdom and insight keep my myriad activities true.

Stress

When I get more work than I can handle, I stress. Too much work can trigger as much tension as none. Fonnie would like me to take things easier, set realistic deadlines and do each job calmly in turn. I’m getting better at this too.

Well, that’s the Empire’s Voice of Reason done. I’d now like you to summon your partner for their frank feedback on life in your business.

I can’t wait to see what they say!

Contrary to TV nirvana, family affairs can be vexed. And when children choose different paths to their parents’, the relative thickness of blood doesn’t stint its flow. This has been a big issue for my small business. I’m keen to know if you think I’m a spoilt brat or part of a statistically relevant pack.

My decision to ditch a career that was killing me body and soul was greeted with stony family silence. There followed a salvo of pointed questions that left me doubtless as to the unpopularity of my choice. Pressing on regardless was a major breach of domestic protocol.

As I built my business over several years, the advice to go back to ‘the workforce’ was regular dinner fare. Finally, when I proudly announced that I’d doubled my former salary, the advice shifted from fiscal to spiritual. In summary:

Phase 1

How’s business?

A bit slow…

Hmm. Maybe you should give it away and get a real job.

Phase 2

How’s business?

Busy!

Hmm. Hope you’re not burning yourself out.

What I perceived as lack of support was described as devil’s advocacy and parental concern. Yet it consistently left me frustrated, deflated and angry. These feelings compounded when I learned (third hand) that my business success had been lauded (at length) to family and friends (in my absence).

I went crying to my mates, who had markedly different takes on the matter.

One reported that his dad had pooh-poohed everything he’d ever done. When he finally earned a company car, he was chided that it was an SL, not an SLX.

Another said that when a man has taught his son to hunt buffalo, it doesn’t do anyone any good (except the buffalo) for the son to be always looking back for approval.

I later watched an interview with a famous Australian chef. When his mother saw him showcased on Japanese TV, she thought he’d been arrested. She nearly had a heart attack, having no idea what he did, or how gifted he was.

Last week, after spending over a decade in Phases 1 and 2, I tried a bold, new tack:

Phase 3

How’s business?

Perfect! I have just the right amount of work coming in at exactly the right rate.

Hmm. Very good.

End of story. Praise at last! All I had to do was lie.

I’ve since quizzed my 4029 Twitter followers on this topic. Results have been mixed, so I’d very much like your view.

Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, www.thefeistyempire.com