Dishing Dirt
Would you buy a pfoofer valve from this man?
As with large wooden beads, most business owners can string a sentence.
Due to this, many don’t feel they need a professional writer to optimise their communications.
Now and then I get a reminder of my redundancy, like this striking missive from Dirt Cheap Pfoofer Valves* (DCPV):
Error Legend: [ ] Minor. [ ] Major. [ ] Fatal.
Hello Dear Customer
We Are open 10am-6pm on Easter Saturday ,Easter Sunday and Easter Monday .
There has been alot of new pfoofer valves that have just arrived to the warehouses.
Over the three days we will be given a free $5 valve of your choice to anybody that visits the warehouses .
There is no obligation to buy anything ,sounds to good to be true but thats the deal .
We are running this promotion in the herald Sun on Easter Sunday ,so we suggest u come on the Saturday to surly avoid the masses that will arrive to claim the offer .
Offer is valid 3RD 4TH AND 5TH OF APRIL 2010
Happy Shopping .
MR Dirt Cheap Pfoofer Valves
When I stumbled on DCPV’s website, their atrocious writing didn’t stop me visiting their store. In fact I bought quite a few valves over several visits.
Their last promotion, however, was deeply disappointing. The TV-touted $1 valves turned out to be useless for all but the simplest applications.
I did not, therefore, take up this Easter offer.
It may be vain or spurious to suggest poor communications indicate poor business practices.
Yet next time I see an offer this badly worded, I’ll surly avoid it.
Many judge people by their appearance.
I judge firms by their writing.
Is this fair?
Do you care?
* I used ‘pfoofer valves’ because:
- I don’t wish to harm the business concerned.
- ‘Widget’ now means more than an abstract production unit.
- Wikipedia deleted my pfoofer valve entry with, I believe, undue haste.
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
Did you enjoy this post? Why not leave a comment below and continue the conversation, or subscribe to my feed and get articles like this delivered automatically to your feed reader.
Wowser – that is a shocker (to use your words) I know I can get carried away sometimes – but not even I’m that bad.
I wouldn’t buy from them either. Often I look at a website and if I can see spelling mistakes, they do turn me off, sometimes enough not to buy.
I suppose the english language – at least the spelling part to me is important.
But that is just MHO
Thank you, IWM. Opinions don’t come more honest than yours, so I’m especially grateful to receive it. Best regards, P.
Folks, be sure to check It wasn’t me’s link. There’s a youbeaut initiative behind it.
You’re the customer Paul – you can make judgements calls on whatever you please. I don’t think fairness even comes into the equation.
Communication is important, and writing is part of that. To me, it can be an indication of the kind of service you may receive. Kind of like if a sales assistant were to greet me with, “Yea, whaddaya want?” I’m unlikely to want anything after that.
Many thanks, Stephen. I always appreciate your considered view.
Such a shame with the readily available technology at our finger tips no one has pointed the author to the “spell check” option.
I totally agree with Paul Hassing, grammar, spelling and email etiquette seems to be sadly lost.
Welcome, Gillian, and thank you. I’m glad you agree. By jingo that website of yours looks a-mazing. Did you do all that?!
I would be disappointed if my eleven year old son wrote that poorly. It all comes to professional image and branding so I thought the (rather frightening) picture of the clown was most appropriate.
I tire of the need to constantly correct the work of others to maintain the professionalism of our business. I do not accept mediocrity as a key part of any strategic plan.
Onya, Malcolm. Do I hear an AAAAAAAAAA-men?!
Hi Paul,
You’re a better person than I am. I would NEVER do business with a place generating this sort of content, on their website or in their printed communications. Appearance matters and business writing like this puts me in mind of dusty shelves, dirty windows and cockroaches scurrying across the floor.
I’m a writer, well aware of the traps and pitfalls of the English language. I’m not saying everyone should hire a professional, (although that would be good for my own livelihood) but even business owners with no writing talent or expertise can use spell check and read their copy aloud before posting it.
Thanks for putting the spotlight on a growing problem. It’s surly worth it.
Thank you very much, Sarah. If you knew what this crowd were really selling, you’d be triply horrified.
Your reading-out-loud tip is a beauty. You just can’t beat it for shaking out the clangers.
A real estage agent has just put up a board to sell our neighbour’s house. At first glance, I spotted four errors.
This is an ad for a $600,000 product. I never cease to be stunned that such a ‘high-end’ audience doesn’t get the courtesy of good English.
I can’t work out who cares less: the owner, the writer or the reader.
I feel like such a voice in the wilderness sometimes. And I’m getting damn sick of locusts and honey. Thank goodness there are like-minded souls like you to restore cosmic order.
Hi Paul,
Poor grammar and spelling unfortunately can leave an impression of not caring.
However we all make mistakes and I remember being held responsible for a typo in a magazine advertisement. Even though about 9 people approved the advertisement it was my head on the block. As we were spending a lot of money it was a rather expensive mistake.
I was given a tip that I will always remember. Read everything backwards and typos etc seem to jump out at you.
Hi Susan. Thanks for your tip too!
As you know, I used to be on the other side of the fence to you – I was with the ad agency.
We ALWAYS made the client (you) sign off the final version of the ad. As you learned the hard way, little things can mean an awful lot.
On one occasion, a fussy client took the creative and dispatching reins from our hands.
They retrieved an old version of a BIG ad, tinkered with the words and sent it to The Age: complete with ??????? where all the contact details should have been!
It was a university of note. Red faces never blazed so brightly.
Hi Paul,
Our agency always made us sign the final version as well. It was just the agency and all of us in the company missed it. I was held responsible because it was my brand. Live and learn.
Ouch!
I bet you carry that battle scar on your heart.
Actually I got it right between the eyes. Still noticeable.
Latest email:
Dirt Cheap Pfoofer Valves May Maddness Sale
TODAY and TOMMORROW 22nd May and Sunday 23rd May .
[Buy one consonant, get one free!]