Qui Ckon CEO Ver.
- Is this all white for you?
Sorry about that title; only had time for a ‘quick once over’.
All the letters are there: the caps and spacing didn’t confuse, did they?
As a copywriter, I sometimes get quick once over requests. I wonder if you do too.
The request has three variations:
1. Just give it 15 minutes.
Some clients assess my work by what I keep, not discard.
Thus, if I spend an hour rendering two pages of crud into one perfect paragraph, they see 50 words and think Bargain!
If I were a surgeon, they’d say:
Look at that jar: it’s tiny! Why bill me for operating on my whole body when you only took out that little, bitty gallstone?!
2. Just focus on the howlers.
An intelligent client may spend weeks crafting a pitch for a huge piece of business. She’s happy with her content and only wants me to flag the one or two bad errors I might find.
Though I invariably find dozens of small to medium errors that I know will undermine her pitch, brand (and even viability) she isn’t interested. She knows her writing is good. She gave it to me at the eleventh hour, as an afterthought.
If I were a crèche, she’d say:
We’re entering Emily in a national baby contest in four hours. I’m going home to change. Just keep her alive until I return. Only call if she goes blue or black; don’t worry about the peanut thing. I know my daughter.
3. There’s only two hours in the budget.
I perfect communications via multiple processes. Spelling, punctuation, tone, cadence, readability and jargon are just the tip.
Numbers, fact accuracy, logical flow, legal compliance, audience suitability and consistency with branding and prior communications form the next level. Then there’s the optional humour, irony, academic and cultural references etc.
This deep thinking takes time.
So, if I get two hours to optimise 6000 not-very-good words, I must cut corners. Yet like a Rubik’s cube, my corners intertwine. Lose one, no cube.
If I were a builder, they’d say:
We need a safe, certified, 25-square home for $50K. Don’t forget the plumbing, wiring, plaster, painting, insulation, termite proofing and hurricane roofing. We’re in Darwin.
Time is money: I need it and I know clients aren’t made of it. I promise perfect communications: too-small budgets make this impossible. Yet I genuinely like my clients and want them to prosper.
I can’t let flawed work leave my desk. So I do three or four hours for the price of two. Just like the faeries.
How about you? Do you mow three hectares for the price of two? Install five workstations for the cost of three? Teach eight people for the fee of five?
If so, what’s your motivation?
- Pride.
- Love.
- Money.
- Other (please state _________ ).
- All of the above.
Idlo VETOK Now!
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
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Excellent discussion Paul!
Editing in the higher education sector, I’m often (more often than not) asked by time poor clients to just give documents a ‘quick once over’.
‘It’s in pretty good shape’, they’ll say. ‘Just have a quick look.’
Pretty good shape to Joe Academic or Jane Manager and pretty good shape to a writer/editor are worlds apart though.
So my rule of thumb is this:
A ‘page’ is 250 words and it’s 5 minutes a page for me to do anything meaningful to a document. So a ‘quick once over’ to a 10,000 word report is 40 x 5 = 200 minutes = 3.5 hours give or take.
It’ll take longer if the formatting is poor, which it invariably is. It’ll take longer if the content requires fact checking, which it invariably does. It’ll take longer if the content is technical, which it invariably is.
Now we’re at 15 minutes a page = 10.5 hours. For a quick look.
So if you’re hiring a copywriter, bear that in mind!
Bear in mind also that, if you don’t know the difference between an adjectival hyphen, an en dash and an em dash, and when you should use them, or the appropriate use of sentence and title case, or how to convert passive language to active, and a thousand other tidbits, then you might not know what I’ve done anyway. It’ll all just look and read as you meant it to. Who needs an editor?
Of course, mitigating the above is that I’ll always do what I can in the time I have. Rearranging the deckchairs might not be as meaningful as making your communication say what it means, but sometimes rearranging the chairs is all we have time for. It’s OK too.
I’ll be curious to see who mows three hectares for the price of two …
Morning, Adam! I certainly had you in mind when I wrote this. The feats you perform under duress in your full time role would leave my brain a smoking cinder.
I love what you’ve written and am tempted to paste it into my post and delete your comment. But that wouldn’t be very nice. So you see I’m rather pleased to have such impressive expertise in this forum. Thank you!
I writes grouse; so I dont need youse copyrighters.
Well said Paul and Adam. At least when a mechanic services a car he can wash it and blacken the tyres so there is a visual cue to the work done. In your field a polished result is a seamless improvement of what was there before.
I have used Paul professionally and have been amazed at how he can cut copy down by 40% or more and significantly improve the message and the communication. More with less. A bloody good result that never ceases to amaze and impress me.
And yes, I believe that I’m not a bad writer but still the proof is in the results. Quality takes time.
Hey Michael Angelo, we need a ceiling mural for the Sistine Chapel but the coffers in the Papal conclaves are a bit light this month and we really need it by next week so what about a nice coat of beige instead?
You get what you pay for.
Many thanks, Malcolm. It’s great to get the view of one who reads hundreds of books, has written one himself AND uses a copywriter from time to time.
I LOVE slicing off phat phrases to leave strong, muscular communications that punch way above their weight. You’re one of the few clients who gives me the time to do this properly. From what I hear, you generally recoup your investment many times over.
An Dth Enthe Re SME
Step 1: Take 317,811 ideas and or experiences from a number of apparently unrelated disciplines…say 987. Incubate and/or compost for no less than 1 year.(There is only one rule; The Golden Rule – all of these numbers must correlate to the Fibonacci Series – This alleviates the necessity of actually tying the Celtic Knots yourself. They actually self-assemble if you let them
Step 2: Find a planet where everyone remembers that they are telepathic and uses it. If you can’t, a pre-warp civilisation with breathable air and a World Wide Web will suffice.
Step 3: Find a bunch of good folks that find you endearing and querky and can’t quite figure out how you add value to their activities, but are happy that you do (Golden Rule Mk II – don’t ask for any money).
Step 4: Chocks out, Flaps up, Hats off, Stand back, Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em ;-P
But, just a little bit more seriously
…mate most of my life has been doing things gratis or 10 for the price of none. That’s not to say that there isn’t an energy exchange…nor that their is anything inherently wrong with money (in an of itself). It’s just how I prefer to live…it just feels right and just (no it’s not a typo 
.
And I have had the pleasure and honour of such exchanges with your good self and Malcolm and a few of the fine folks herein. In fact the great interaction and comradery of this fine little community IS the energy exchange. And don’t say “Oh yeh! But that doesn’t put food on the table!” There is a sad reason for that and that’s a whole ‘nuther story. Hint: It doesn’t happen in nature!
I have also born witness to your extraordinary wordsmithing abilities. I have never seen anyone proof and edit large quaffs of written material so quickly and deftly. You are definitely worth your weight in Gold.
The very fact that we live in a world with ‘time poor’ clients as both your good self and Adam describe, and I too have experienced, bares within it a very powerful and dire message…a message that we are just not hearing.
If Time was in fact Money, then money would be pouring out of the the air and my mobile phone (clock). Ask the planet if ‘no pain no gain’ actually works. Ask the legless Vietnamese children if all is actually fair in love and war’. Some of the myths that we culturally flagellate ourselves with are to me scary indeed. Fortunately, there are havens of sanity and genuinely fine folks, like this one…you guys help me become a better person…and if anyone needs remedial surgery in that area, it’s me
Another fine post Good Sir and fine comments all
Cheers
Stephen G
Them’s some mighty fine words, Stephen. This forum, our friends, my skills: you’ve nailed the lot with your cosmic Makita 32-64 mm DA Air.
And where would we be without YOU to yank our yin?
Yenning!
Thanks, Mate!
Dear Cobba,
Only you could read that and turn it into a social achievement
…and then with a flick of your copywriting alchemist’s wand an intergalactic power-tool (with specs 
).
And Malcolm? Give up mate!…you’re so bluddy impossibly good you can’t even write baddly, baddly ;-P
Thanks guys…always a hoot
Cheers
Stephen G
This is a great topic which has probably caused every person reading it to start grinding their teeth.
If people only knew. The paradox is because they don’t know what you know they won’t ever know what they don’t know.
The one tactic I became very wise to was the invitation from someone to buy me lunch to go over a few things. So you get a burger and they any free advice they can pull out of you between bites. It pays not to talk with your mouth full.
Or the, “Hey, can I buy an hour of your time to show me how to use this software?” And of course when you ask to see the manual the feet start to shuffle and then they stammer and stutter and bring you into their deception by admitting the software is a bootleg copy. Oops, sorry, gonna use that hour to give myself a pedicure so I can keep walking away from the likes of them.
If people “can’t see it” it doesn’t count. When was the last time you walked into a big box store or your local grocery store and tried to get a deal cut on a bag of oranges because you weren’t going to get all the vitamin C you needed for the day? Or tried to get a major clothing store to cut you deal on a pair of jeans because you weren’t going to wear them every day?
I can’t blame people for trying to save money, and to try and cut an deal, but when it is intellectual material, gained from years of learning and application we do take it personally.
So, it has been a pure joy to learn to smile and say, no. Because if they are shopping price they aren’t shopping quality and you know what your wise friends told you, “You get what you pay for.”
Gee, I love this platform. What’s our next topic? This is really cheaper than therapy. Did I really just say that?
Cheryl
Good points Paul. As I have most been a client we do not understand the detail of your work and therefore it can be difficult to appreciate the detailed effort and time involved. This goes for many professions.
I may be off base and tell me if I am wrong. Why can’t you have available a menu of what you offer and the price. By having it available the client knows upfront and it puts the onus back on them to decide what they want and what they are prepared to pay.
Welcome back, Cheryl. Looks like it’s the International Copywriting All-Stars vs Rest of World! Great to hear your war stories, and your learnings therefrom.
For such a tiny word, ‘no’ sure can pack a wallop. I’m still learning how to handle it myself.
I love that you love this platform. Thanks for adding your plank. Next topic will be posted on Tuesday, but you can always talk to your new friends on their excellent blogs!
Your question is excellent, Susan. Adam and I have put enormous effort into objectively codifying the nebulous field of copywriting.
First I tried this approach: http://www.thefeistyempire.com/resources/rates/2009_TFE_CopyProductList.pdf
Then Adam (I think) came up with this approach:
http://www.thefeistyempire.com/resources/rates/2009_TFE_Proposal_Sample_Brox.pdf
The second approach has proven vastly more popular than the first. I’m yet to meet a client who can fathom the first!
Many clients have asked for fixed price job ads. Yet the source materials can range from nothing to 50 pages. And that’s just one of a dozen volatile variables.
Ads that should have taken half an hour to write took several (and vice versa). Someone was always getting burned.
I reckon our best/worst proposal charts a good middle path. I cover our pricing philosophy here:
http://www.thefeistyempire.com/rates
What do you think?
Hehe! Nice one Cheryl
I’m just writing up my invoice to send to MYOB as we speak… ;-P
And not only is it cheaper than therapy, is entirely not tax deductible
I’m taking my guitar back…it’s got a hole in it…
Cheers
Stephen G
Thanks Stephen!
It’s ironic how dormant issues remain. It’s a luxury to have found such a great spot to visit, read, learn, contribute a bit here and there (cough, cough, cough) and just enjoy the comfort of belonging.
Now if the words would come as easily when someone is writing a check! Oh, that’s right, they don’t want this kind of intensity!
Did you need some duct tape for that guitar?
Over and out until next time.
Cheryl
Paul,
I agree about the first and if you look at the words they are not very clear or client friendly. Eg. poor brief.
The second one is better, but I don’t think it is really clear from a clients perspective. For example – set language tone. The middle ground still leaves me unclear except I know your hourly rate.
I know it is difficult and I do admire what you guys do. You should be paid for the result and not have the old price war with clients.
If you need input to solve this issue from a client’s perspective let me know.
Thanks for your feedback, Susan; I value it very highly.
By the time I give a client their best/worst case proposal, I’ve spent time listening, reading and asking questions. As a result, the nature, order and duration of tasks on their proposal will likely differ from every proposal I’ve done before. That’s how bespoke I go.
At this stage, about 90% of prospective clients give me the green light. The other 10% throw their hands up in horror. That’s why I put the sample proposals on my site. Nothing wrecks my day like four hours of wasted, unpaid groundwork!
Perhaps, Susan, you could become my client and we could tackle this problem together over a $10K budget. Don’t you think that’d be nice?
No problems Paul, brief is being written up now.
In the meantime can you just have a quick look at my latest blog post as I need to finalise it in the next 20 minutes.
If that post is anything like your latest offerings, Susan, I can tell you, sight unseen, that it’s a ripper!
You’re very welcome Cheryl
…not to mention how remaining dormant issues irony ;-P
Yep! I’ve been on the web since 1994 (not constantly mind…I went to the loo once
, have been a web content manager on a huge Web2.0 project and this is the only blog I’ve ever regularly been involved in. It’s the Bee’s knees and the Cat’s piggy-jim-jams (insert the ineffable influence of the maestro of nostalgic cliches here (that’s Paul for yooz noobies) 
. I write more here than on my own blog 
Good folks, good fun and never a dull moment…not even when Malcolm shows up
And as for intensity…here? Never! cough, cough, cough
Look forward to your returns…
Oh and Paul? Haven’t you been listening to Malcolm mate? You need to whack a few more zeros on that there budget o’ yours. Why? Because your worth it!
Ooh! Don’t you just love a good makeover? 
Cheers
Stephen G
You are too kind, Stephen. (That’s a $2000 penalty!)
I’m loath to add zeroes. I’m still smarting from a debate I had back in ‘07 about what ‘ancillary tasks’ meant.
And not ONE of the four home-by-Christmas invoice payments I was promised materialised under my tree.
Wallpaper glue sure tastes crap.
So I think I’ll hold my rates steady just now!
Fair Cop Cobba
Have you tried Pizza with your wallpaper glue? Works for me
Cheers
Stephen G
[...] optimising copy, there’s no such thing as ‘a few minutes’. Did I really want to donate my precious time to a complete stranger who had it [...]