Archive for September, 2009
It’s a Knockout!
Recently I said NO to a new client. It was a prestigious facility, doing fascinating work, with a huge conglomerate parent.
The first job was worth hundreds. The campaign promised thousands. Was I mad?
No: I was saving my sanity, and living to fight another day.
Round 1
The briefing went well. The General Manager (GM) was smart and [...]
Gift Rap
Christmas (Xmas) is coming. And good clients are particularly precious this season. Should we send cards or gifts? If gifts, what? And how much should we spend?
In matters of etiquette, no thing is better than the wrong thing. But that’s pretty lame. So let us pick a path through this merry minefield.
Suitability
If your client is [...]
Hidden Hurts
Did you know that the women who grind coffee at the market suffer headaches and insomnia? Constant coffee dust inhalation keeps them permanently wired.
I’d asked as a joke, but it was not. Fascinated by this explicit occupational hazard, I wondered if other businesses had ‘hidden hurts’.
We all know about dog bites on posties, bad backs [...]
Divided Loyalties
Loyalty scheme. Sounds like an oxymoron, but it’s the truth: a scheme to gain loyalty.
Faith in loyalty schemes (also called loyalty programs) was beaten out of me over three punishing rounds.
1. Fly Buys
I spent often. Sometimes without need. But it wasn’t enough.
As I eyed a modest appliance ‘reward’, my points hit a critical [...]
A Great Gift
At Christmas, my wife* gave me an amazing gift. The beautiful, rust-proof aluminium name plate you see in the photo. I loved it the moment I unwrapped it.
This plate has since proven its worth beyond anything we imagined. Here’s how.
Postie
Within days of the plate going up, our postie (mail delivery officer) accosted me from [...]
Deal Breakers
It can take years to gain a client and seconds to lose one. Sometimes, the break is audible. Below are four such pivotal moments, frozen for your perusal.
Pelvic Thrust
A woman at risk of ovarian cancer attends an ultrasound clinic. On taking her name, the Receptionist turns around and shouts through a door to the [...]
What’s with Twitter?
Is Twitter relevant to your small business? Guest blogger Joanna Maxwell shares her experiences with the popular microblogging tool and explains how it’s helped her business.
It seems you can’t turn around these days without tripping over a reference to Twitter. Most people have at least a hazy idea that it has something to do with ‘microblogging in [...]
Hair Razing
When I chat with cutters and colourists, their stories are always the same. Every salon they’ve worked for has either refused to pay their super or merely pretended to pay it. When an employee leaves, they find their super money has neither been set aside nor deposited into their fund.
Few staff pursue their rights, [...]
The Blue Boat
When I worked for ad agencies, I heard of a client-wrangling device called ‘the blue boat’. Though I never saw it in action, this wicked concept delighted my dark side. Here’s how it went:
1. If a studio thought a client was going to be tricky and picky, the creative director worked a blue boat into [...]
