All Washed Up
Part 1 of 2
I don’t like salesmen who won’t take no. But the sheer tenacity of one guy breached my every defence. I wanted one car wash; he sold me ten. He won the battle. But will he win the war? Let’s see.
He approached smiling. I wore red:
Hi, Mate; I’d like a wash thanks.
Hello, Sir. One wash costs $33. But if you buy a book of ten, it is only $22 per wash.
Um, OK. Look it’s my first time here; I’ll just have the one, thanks.
If you buy a book of ten, it is much cheaper, Sir.
I realise that, but I’d rather see what sort of job you do before I…
We do an excellent job, Sir. We do all your sills on the inside and use liquid wax and Armor All and tyre black…
That sounds great. If you do all that I’m sure I’ll buy a book next time.
But if you buy a single wash today, Sir, it will cost you $33. If you buy a book, the wash will cost you only $22.
Thank you. I understand. But I’m afraid I can’t make this decision today. My dog is sick, I’m worried about her and we have an appointment with the vet across the road.
Sir we can wash your car while you are having your appointment.
Great; that’s what I was hoping. Now I really must go.
So you will be buying a book, Sir?
Um, No. Just the one wash.
The book is much cheaper…
Yes. No. Thank you. No. No thank you!
When I came back, my car had been returned to showroom condition. Driving home, I marvelled that such workmanship still existed. And wished that I’d bought a bloody book!
When I needed another wash, I returned. But I still couldn’t get my head around paying $220 up front.
If you buy a book today, Sir, I will do a special deal for you. I will give you today’s wash completely for free. That is eleven washes for the price of ten. Otherwise, Sir, today’s wash will cost you $33.
Thank you. It’s just that $220 is a lot to pay…
Sir, if your car is used for commercial purposes, you will note that the cost of the book is tax deductible.
It was June.
He led me to the office, where a girl took my money with a smile.
‘He’s very good, isn’t he?’ I remarked.
‘Oh yes; he’s very good.’
Twenty minutes later, my problems began. Read about them in Part 2!
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Tell us NOW, tell us NOW, I cant wait, I have to know…………
Onya, Malcolm! It’s weird: several folk on Twitter have made the same request. Never thought I’d write a cliff hanger!
Ditto Dude! Nicely done…it’s a cliff-hanger alrighty! :- )
This reminds me of THEE BEST Salesman I ever met. He became a friend over time…his name is Roy and he is (though I haven’t seen him for a few years), a Jehovah’s Witness. What a great bloke and an exemplary Salesman.
But I’m not telling you UNTIL WE GET PART 2!!! :- )
Cheers
Stephen G
Thank you, Stephen. If I could be privy to just one sales pitch, it’d be that of the person who flogged brick cladding to weatherboard home owners several decades ago. That’s GOT to be the toughest gig in town. Yet you see the stuff everywhere. How the hell did they do it?!
That’s a good question mate…perhaps some of the answer is embodied in the fact that they don’t do it anymore? :- )
I used to have a similar curiosity about those ‘Brush Fences’ from around the same era…now also, seemingly extinct :- P
Hey! Just a by the way, your bluddy outstanding eBooks (your’s and Malcolm’s), are now listed on Business Victoria’s ‘Business Plans & Checklists’ section under ‘Marketing’ > ‘Tips & How to guides’…check ‘em out here – http://toolsandtemplates.business.vic.gov.au/marketing/tips_and_how_to_guides?25747_result_page=2
Jeez! I wonder how they got up there? :- P
Cheers
Stephen G
Dear Stephen, your nomination of my ebook is a breathtakingly unexpected kind deed and vote of confidence. Thank you SO much!
Can’t wait to see what this trackback does to my site stats. That was jolly decent of you.
I’m going to put a call out to retired brick cladding salespeople. Let’s see if we can get some post war stories going in here. Thanks again!
It’s the least I could do, & it was easy ’cause I meant it : )
All we need now is a few readers to pop in and whack-up a few ‘Ratings’. I tried to do it, but because I submitted them, my ratings/reviews wouldn’t stick.
I don’t expect it will lead to any massive trackback spikes, but as you have found out already, every little bit helps in the virtual arena.
I thought it was a bold and useful idea & service by Business Victoria…I don’t qualify for selection in the Prize Pool though, because I’m not from Victoria…but that’s not why I did it…I just reckon it’s a good service and they are bluddy good eBooks.
Cheers
Stephen G
Thanks, Mate. I reviewed Malcolm’s book, but it never got up. I may have been too gushy. Or maybe I clacked when I should have clicked.
I’d not heard of this initiative before you flagged it. I agree it’s a cool move by Business Victoria.
While we’re talking $5,000 marketing makeovers, can you talk us through the origin and meaning of your tri-colour logo?
Part 2, Part 2!!
You should know only too well by now mate, that I can talk you through just about bluddy anything! :- )
Ok here goes; I’ll try something new…brevity!
The origin & meaning of my Tri-colour Logo. Hmmm!..
It all started with the first single-celled organism…Ha! Did I scare ya? :- )
One important consideration that has underpinned every logo I’ve ever designed is that it holds branding integrity in as many sizes and media as possible…and very importantly, fulfills the aforementioned criteria in Black & White (Faxes & reduced printing costs – though this isn’t as much an issue now with Digital Printing).
Being a DIY Solo Act, I wanted something easy to work with and replicate. Using these primary colours makes it dead easy when translating or replicating across various colour coding matrices. For example, the RGB coding for these colours are:
Red: 255, 0, 0
Green: 0, 255, 0
Yellow: 255, 255, 0
Dead easy to match exactly in any colour coding medium and dead easy to remember when dickin’ around with PHP & HTML during web design. No fiddling around with ‘Colour Pickers’.
These colours, in combination, also have a long established branding association of their own; being commonly & Globally associated with anything to do with Pizzas.
They are also equate in frequency to the chords A, E & C (as I recall…I can’t be bothered looking it up again :- P), which are the foundation of most ‘Popular’ Songs. Harmonically they also represent the 3 basic geometric shapes found in such archaic epistemologies as Buddhism, Vedic Science, Zen etc. i.e. Square, Circle & Triangle. They are up-beat and primal.
These three colours are found in and associated with 3 of our major food groups (Dairy – Yellow, Meat – Red & Vegies – Green) There is a biological response to these colours that triggers salivation…like a visual entree…tricky huh? :- )
Rub all of the above together and it forms what I wished to embody in my business…a Spiritual & Physical sense of ‘Wholeness’, generating feelings of being nourished, safe and at home.
It works well on a black or white background.
And it’s pretty and I liked it :- )
That’s about it in a nutshell :- )
Cheers
Stephen G
PS So much for brevity…I’ll just have to keep working on that one :- P
That was so interesting, I’m tempted to ask for the LONG version!
I just heard the thud of 15 first-year graphic design students dropping out to take up telemarketing!
Did you perchance feel an affinity with the tin and tea towel arranging protagonist of ‘Sleeping with the Enemy’?
Thanks mate…but after the last couple of days, I not at all tempted to write the LONG version :- )
Re: ‘Sleeping with the Enemy’ – dunno, I’ve not slept there :- )…http://www.sleepingwiththeenemy.com/ (Great marketing on their Homepage)
Cheers
Stephen G
[...] All Washed Up mybrc.myobnet.com/2009/08/25/all-washed-up – view page – cached I don’t like salesmen who won’t take no. But the sheer tenacity of one guy breached my every defence. I wanted one car wash; he sold me 10. He won the battle. But will he win the war? Let’s see. — From the page [...]
[...] detailed in All Washed Up the salesman’s incessant use of Sir made it more of a punctuation mark than a mark of respect. In [...]