Speak or ZING?
Alas! My business coach, Winston Marsh , gave my expensive new online shop the thumbs down! On the topic of ZING-based copywriting, we’ve long been at odds. It’s time to analyse the sticking place.
In the blue corner is me. I believe the message is everything. As I used to tell my Copy School students:
If you have a message that’s true, interesting and relevant to your audience, you can write it on a piece of toilet paper and nail it to a tree in the forest. Someone will find it and, if they’re not interested, pass it on to those who are.
In the red corner is Winston. He believes every message needs plenty of ZING and is adamant I should use phrases like:
Copywriting that’s so powerful, it sucks people’s eyeballs into the screen.
Words so compelling, they leap off the page and bite you on the bum.
Here’s his rationale:
I firmly believe the product or service must deliver on the promises made for it. Then, providing it does, that’s when you really sock it to them in language that sucks the eyeballs into the screen, etc.
It’s our job to really get the prospect excited, enthused and busting to buy. Remember, you sell the sizzle not the steak!
I have dreadful problems with sizzle. Yet Winston’s speaking, coaching and publishing empire is many times greater than I could hope to achieve.
What to do?
Ad agencies advise: ‘If you’ve got nothing to say, sing!’ In other words, if the product you’re flogging lacks merit, put all your resources into showmanship. I totally get this with soft drink or chocolate. But what about corporate copywriting?
Because I believe I have something to say, I feel that singing is unnecessary (at best) and harmful to my brand (at worst). Surely my clear, correct, elegant copy is the singing equivalent of verbose, inaccurate, dreary copy. Am I not singing already? Is not the steak more important than the sizzle?
There’s just one problem: the people visiting my shop aren’t buying my ebook.
Winston took one look at my landing page and pronounced it ‘flat’. He’s certain that unless I ZING, my register won’t ring.
Should I stop being precious and get with the program? Or should I screw my courage to the sticking place and hold fast in defence of quiet, measured, reasonable copy?
How about you? Are you a speaker or a ZINGer? If you changed tack, how would your audience react?
Your response would be music to my ears.
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
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Tina Robertson from Asenz wrote a great piece on websites that sell for myBRC…it basically asserts that no matter how technically amazing (or in this case, no matter how good the copy is), the first step is to get the right traffic to your shop page, and then figure out how to get your conversion rate up.
Might be worth a read. It’s a members only article so if anyone else is interested (of course Paul is a member already), you’ll need to join myBRC – but it’s free
Great post, Paul, and important questions. I tend to do poorly in job interviews because the panel expects me to sell myself while I expect my word (and record) to speak for itself. That is, if I speak plainly that I’ll do a great job, I’ll do a great job. It seems this isn’t the way the world works. It’s razzle dazzle first and hope for integrity later. I guess Winston is right that, if your product backs your sizzle, then sell with the sizzle and no harm done. But surely this leaves the way open for folk to just sell the sizzle and never spot up the steak. A gentleman will walk but never run …
Thank you, Megan; I’ll read that piece with interest.
Thank you, Adam; I feel your pain (and appreciate your Sting reference).
Another self-exposing materpiece Paul…no bluddy bout a’doubtya mate…you have certainly taken the notion of ‘transparency’ with both hands and peeled the wrapping off it :- )
‘Zing’ on your ‘Shop’ page wouldn’t be inkeeping with the rest of your Website, Brand & general Spirit of your enterprise.
I am from the same ’school’ as Adam. If it’s a good steak I’ll ’sound my barbaric Yawp from the roof-tops of the world’, but sizzle is just not my ‘thang’.
I suppose you have to decide whether you want ‘global domination’ or to make a decent living and feel good about it? Personally, I’m afflicted with a conscience…hence my humble little pizza business.
One may present the age old business argument that ‘if it works use it’…this probably has something to do with why guns and bullshit are still very popular :- P
It seems to me that in today’s business world ‘innovation’ has become ‘doing the same thing in a slightly more deceptive way’.
If I buy something that I feel even slightly deflated about after the purchase (even if the product does the job), I’m not usually inclined to mention it. But if I buy something that seemed like it would do the job and works great, I’m on ‘the roof-tops of the world’ again.
I was invited to speak at a Uni a few years back. The subject was Genetic Modified Food. I was on a panel with Geneticists, Microbiologists and other Scientists. As I was a ‘non-scientist’ I raised the issue of trust.
I asked this question: How does a planet that is not trading with any other planets get itself into debt? Is it because all the people/companies that say they have other’s best interests at heart actually do?
Cheers
Stephen G
Many thanks, Stephen; I’m very grateful for your kind feedback. And the image of you taking a panel of boffins to task is most entertaining. There MUST be a spare university chair somewhere around here for you!
If there is a spare university chair around somewhere mate, I’d say that all they’ll want to do is hit me with it! :- )
By the way, I just read Tina’s article ( http://bit.ly/NvJQH referred to above by our erstwhile Administrator – thanks Megan :- ), and I like it A LOT! I would say it is a ‘MUST READ’ for anyone thinking of on online presence.
I think it is all the more relevant to this subject specifically because Tina is an online marketing professional…in her article she is clearly selling the steak and looking to engage in meaningful business relationships (as opposed to ’sizzlers’).
Cheers
Stephen G
Fer sure. I dug Tina’s article too. Thanks, Megan!
I’m in your corner, Paul, but my marketing adviser is with Winston all the way. And I have to admit, my business and web traffic is on the rise since she came on board.
BUT I think the essence of this dilemma is in what Stephen says i.e “‘Zing’ on your ‘Shop’ page wouldn’t be inkeeping with the rest of your Website, Brand & general Spirit of your enterprise.”
We must never allow the marketing department to allow us to lose touch with our authenticity, even if ‘they’ do insist on sprinkling us with a bit of pixie dust from time to time
.
Fascinating insight, Joanna. Thank you for sharing your situation. I’ve asked Winston to track this debate and respond to the questions it throws up. Could be very interesting…
Interesting discussion. I’m inclined to say that you’re on the right track Paul. I say this as I appreciate your down-to-earth style of writing. On the other hand, if you’re not getting the results, then perhaps a little zing would be in order. How long has the shop been open? Test and Measure is my mantra, but make sure you’ve given it adequate time to test it out before changing too much.
Hello Paul,
I’m sitting in my hotel room overlooking the beautiful Hong Kong harbour and skyline as I ponder your question and consider the difference between zing and content.
Hong Kong is the hub of the international business world and the Chinese business owners make fortunes through providing exactly what the customer wants, on time, at the right price and the secret? – in massive volume to a large customer base. They certainly don’t rely on Zing. (Although there was zing in the chilli jellyfish I had last night which may be at home on one of Stephen’s off the wall pizzas!).
So how does that relate to you and the blue and red arguments? That’s easy because you’re both wrong. Like the Chinese, you need to be in the right place at the right time and talking to the right audience. Winno and you have missed a couple of fundamental keys in your marketing approach for your online store. Both of you are looking at the world from your North facing paradigm built on your own preconceived ideals about what constitutes good marketing. That is the wrong approach.
Let’s tackle Winno’s comments first. I really believe that writing:
Copywriting that’s so powerful, it sucks people’s eyeballs into the screen. Words so compelling, they leap off the page and bite you on the bum.
is going to be effective to your target market? No way. Such wording is clearly not in keeping with your target market and from a professional copy writer. The fundamental mistake was not considering your target market. You are selling a unique service so sizzle in this context is wrong (Benefit selling is not however).
OK let’s move to your comments. Your message is interesting and relevant but your online shop does not in any way convey excitement (different from zing), what the benefit is and certainly doesn’t showcase your talents as a dynamic and persuasive copywriter.
So write it like you write your job ads, make it engaging, dynamic and alive. Tell the story of why they should buy it and what the benefit is. You can do it!
The second consideration is how are you promoting it? Have you just put it up on your site and ‘hope’ people are going to come to it and buy the ebook? If that’s the case then you need to get out and promote the life out of it.
Whatever you do please do not use expressions such as suck your eyeballs into the screen and bite you on the bum as this will degrade the brand you have worked so hard to build.
Bless ya cotton soxes Malcolm :- )
I think your analysis should be the foundation for all publications/conversations/actions on this subject…great stuff…many thanks.
Before I go….”…off the wall pizzas”??? So it wasn’t YOU who wanted “Beetroot & Pineapple”? Hahahahahaa! There! I bit! Was it good for you too? :- )
Cheers
Stephen G
Hi, Stephen. Thanks for your kind words. The shop has been up for two months. Each month has seen it get several hundred visitors. So far, only one complete stranger has bought the book. She came to the shop via a SmartCompany article I commented on (and backlinked from).
I’m still grappling with the bewildering complexities of Google AdWords so it’s early days. I’m also a big fan of measuring, but there are so many variables at play that it gets a bit much sometimes!
Thank you for your tough love, Malcolm. I sure hope two wongs make a right!
Funny you should mention China. I’ve lately had a series of emails inviting me to source containers of clothing from China. When I write back saying that I can correct the atrocious websites of the companies concerned, they instantly lose interest in me!
I hear what you’re saying about Winno’s and my approach. I think it’s the old problem of having a hard time writing about oneself. Composing my website copy damn near killed me. Maybe I should get another writer (one step removed) onto the case. Perhaps I’m too close to the action.
If you don’t mind me asking, how is your ebook selling these days? Your sales have always outstripped mine. Do you think that’s because of your product, or the way you sell it?
Thanks again for taking the time to compose such a comprehensive response.
Hi Paul.
My ebook is selling quite well and certainly thanks to your blog for a mucg needed kick along. Also I have been giving copies away to friends in business which has resulted in sales for their employees. Just today I sold 20 hard copies to a PR friend who is sending it out her clients and also 2 people from NSAA who are using it as give aways/thank yous for their clients.
Available at http://www.thesuccesssurfer.com just in case you need a couple of copies or paperback available also.
So after a slow start it is now moving along thanks to you pushing me to get it up on line as an ebook. So I was seriously guilty of not following my own advice as well. Yoiu make an excellent point about being too close to your own action!
I think it is both about the content and how you sell it. There are many great books, ideas and concepts that sit on the shelf because people dont know they exist. It has to start with great content like your ebook or no amount of sizzle will sell that snag!
I hate you.
Not really.
Actually, yes I do.
I had an ebook once, but I dropped it in the bath. Now my hair stands on end just thinking about one.
Carry on.
I had a bath once!
Ditto!
Butt Seriously….(I’m actually in tears here :- ),
Paul,
I notice that Malcolm mentioned selling 20 ‘HARD COPIES’. I wondered if you have a hard copy version and how a few of them might work as a promo for your eBook? I hadn’t really considered them that way around until I read Malcolm’s last (& yes, it’s excellent :-/), comment… :- )
Cheers
Stephen G
Hey! I just noticed that I’m the only ‘do gooder’ here that hasn’t got the ‘cannastas’ to publish my surname (Oh except for Megan…but that’s ok ’cause you don’t have…oops! Better not go there…hehe ; – )…and put my butt where my mouth is…Did that come out right?…
Anyway, here it is…
Cheers
Stephen Glanville
The other white meat! :- )
I had to approve your last post because the system didn’t recognise you with a full name, Stephen!
Megan from myBRC is my full name…I am wedded to this site
Haha! Nice one Megan from myBRC :- )
Does that make it a ‘wedsite’?
OOOOH!… Don’t worry guys, I’ve already got the gun in my hand…
Cheers
Stephen G
Dear Mr Glanville, as with the ancient dragons of Earthsea, now that we have your name we can draw it round your throat like a golden fetter. You may feel a slight sting in the evenings…
Mr Glanville, pursuant to your missive of the 21st instant, I report that we are currently expanding the ebook into a bbook (per the advice of Mr Marsh). It is hoped this initiative will elicit sales from fresh quarters. Yours faithfully, Mr Hassing.
Congratulations, Megan! I’d say many happy RETURNs, but that would be silly. May you enjoy much CTRL, few ALTs and no DELETEs.
Guarantees. Sizzle. ZING. The things I have to do in this bloody joint! OK. I’ve taken another tack on my sales pitch. What do you think of this:
http://www.surrealshortstories.com/win-the-war-for-talent-write-your-own-killer-job-ads/
Is it any better?
Your golden curd of sheep and/or goats milk may be powerful Darth Hassing, but it is no match for the even more ancienter power of ‘Skru-yu’ (no ref available), which will cause your Karma to run right over your mangie Dogma….Mwooohhooohahaa!
Oh and that’s good news about the bBook mate :- )
Cheers
Stephen G
I’ve had a look at the new copy Paul…here are my thoughts:
1) I don’t think it is a good idea to have your link (from here – your name), going straight to your ‘Shop’…even though it is from this blog, which is nice and familiar (to us), it feels somehow desparate to me…if you have gone to trouble of building a nice website, it’s design should effectively move folks from your landing page (homepage), inspiring them to move to explore your shop. Otherwise you might as well just have an eCommerce page and you can do that on eBay.
2) I think your new copy is bluddy brilliant mate…but for someone else’s business. It’s still too much of a style change (therefore Branding change), from the rest of your site. Of all the folks I have encountered in the advertising game, you would undoubtedly be the best at conveying a high level of integrity…stay true to yourself mate, it’s got you this far and I see no reason to ‘erode’ that at this point…if you want to experiment, copy your current website into a subdomain, call it something else and ‘Zing’ it to you hearts content. Do your experimenting there.
I’ll have to come back and finish this off later mate…
Cheers
Stephen G
Wise words, Mr Glanville. I appreciate them and look forward to the rest.
Ah! The joys of small business start-up…perhaps it would be more accurate to say “AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! The joys of small business…”? :- )
My hertofore astonishingly reliable old car decided to pack-it-in on the day my new Oven arrived (i.e. Yesterday)…perhaps we can discuss planning for the ‘unplannable’ at another time?… :- P
Here’s my take on your orignal copy Paul ( http://www.thefeistyempire.com/shop ):
(Before I go on, I think I have commented before on the use of the word ‘Perfect’…not only is it subjective at best, but it is generally accepted to be philosophically & scientifically unattainable…it is usually held-up as something to aspire to…not something that people ‘claim’ to have achieved.)
The following is constructed in concert with a nice ‘visually Zingy’ advert image to be placed on your homepage (perhaps you could replace that now ancient news item – top right column of homepage), that says – “Deadline too tight to hire us this time? Then DIY with The Fiesty Empire DIY Recruitment Guide (linked to Shop). (Either ditch that little line at the bottom of the homepage of put another ‘visually Zingy’ linked image at the bottom of the page as well. These ads should be placed on as many of your web pages as possible…without overcooking it.)
The Feisty DIY Recruitment Guide
‘Never in the field of human resources has so much been offered to so many for so little!
23 years of ad-writing expertise distilled into a simple, practical DIY Recruitment Advertising guide.
(At this point you ditch the dot points and move the illegible image from the left into the centre. Make this image so that customers can click on it to enlarge it, ensuring that the enlarged image is big enough and clear enough to read.
Then you knock up a nice ‘Feisty-esgue’ image (ref: ‘visually Zingy’ images above), that contains the following information – “It’s only $10.00! That’s 43.7 cents per year!” This image goes on the right where the currently illegible image is.
‘Insert Scott Burton’s testimonial underneath the central image’
‘Insert the ‘Buy Now’ link with the download info. e.g. eBook Download Specifications – 150kb PDF Document’
And that’s it!
Of course I can’t do a complete layout here…hopefully this will convey my gist…
Cheers
Stephen G
Crap! I always get my typos in the headings!
The title of eBook at the Shop page should read:
‘The Fiesty Empire DIY Recruitment Guide’
There’s a couple of other little typos, but I’m confident that ‘Spike the Grammar Nazi’ will be happy to constructively eviscerate me about them :- P
Cheers
Stephen G
Wow! What a hornet’s nest you’ve stirred up Paul by focussing on just one part of the marketing paradigm. There have been lots of comments about whether it’s only the copy or only the product that makes the difference or, as I believe, whether it’s a mix of both.
Without wanting to throw petrol on the fire, let’s place what I’ve said into perspective by looking at Marketing 101.
The three marketing criteria that are uppermost in a marketer’s mind are (1) Who is the target market? (2) Why should the target market choose that product instead of the competitor’s, doing it themselves, or doing nothing? (3) How do they find out about it?
So, obviously, you’ve gotta have a better mousetrap that provides some real benefits to the target market but, as inventors of better mousetraps have found out over the centuries, no one will beat a path to their door unless they find out about it.
And by the way I’m assuming that the product or service will deliver on the promises you make bout it… if you’ve got a crappy product, you may sell a few, but pretty soon you’ll sell none.
So once you’ve got the answers to those three questions above, the next step is to get the time tested AIDA formula working for you.
First you’ve got to get their Attention, and bland, boring statements don’t particularly seize anybody’s eyeballs and suck them into the screen. Remember, it’s the headlines that sell newspapers and get you to read the articles.
Next, the copy has got to stimulate the Interest of the target so that, as they read it, they say to themselves, “This is interesting and will help me solve my problems because it’s all about me and my problems.”
As they read on, Desire is kindled and they’re thinking to themselves “Gee, how do I go about purchasing this?”
And that’s where A for Action comes in where we make it easy for them to buy.
You gotta get this into your copy whether it’s written, spoken, or viewed.
I’ve never suggested to Paul that he should hype up his products with untruths or misleading statements, but I have said to him, he’s gotta use his great talent to write fantastic copy that excites his target market to want to almost instantly purchase his product.
Unfortunately, although I’d like to tell you that marketing is a science, I can’t. It’s just plain common sense and if we want to excite prospects into action we’ve got to write powerfully purposefully and excitingly.
Whispering to the world that you have a better mousetrap will never work as well as shouting it excitedly from the rooftops… providing, of course, the people under the rooftops from which you shout are prospects for your product.
Thank you so much, Stephen and Winston. You’ve really added a great deal to this discussion. I look forward to hearing what everyone else thinks of your pronouncements. Best regards indeed!
Dear Winston
It’s very good of you to join in and I appreciate your input…
I hope you haven’t used your actual surname though…Paul does this weird voodoo thing with dragons & cheese…and it stings :- )
Oh and this is only ‘Butterfly’ mode… ;- ).
Cheers
Stephen G
I woke up early this morning thinking about all this stuff. I must admit it’s a bitter pill taking advice on something I’ve considered myself expert at for over 20 years.
However, I’m very lucky to have all your time and thoughts. The more I think about it, the more I feel the problem is that I have trouble promoting myself. I try to be humble, reasonable, rational etc. and this sets up conflict in my mind at self-promo time.
Rest assured, however, that I’m pondering all you’ve said. It may take a few nautical miles to turn this tanker around, but I WILL get there. Best regards, P.
See? What did I tell you about integrity? You just demonstrated that your blogs are about genuine experiences from your business and life. Few have either the ability or capacity to even consider such a thing let alone doing it.
You’re not lucky dude…you bluddy well earned it!
Schopenhauer said the following:
“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” –Arthur Schopenhauer (1788–1860 – Ref: http://www.annalssurgicaloncology.org/cgi/content/full/11/9/810 ).
If you asked me to choose which world I would rather live on and/or do business with; Planet Paul, or Planet Marketing & Self-Promotion, I know which one I’d pick.
I’m not being an anti-establishment ‘tree-hugger’ here…I’m not against marketing, in fact, as you may have gathered I quite like it :- P…what I’m against is being lied to by people that say they are good at something when they are not, that they care about me when they don’t, and that money is not their primary concern when it is.
Remember the old addage “misery loves company”?…well here’s a new one: “EVERY HUMAN CONDITION LOVES COMPANY”…including desparation, happiness, anxiety, compassion, & MEDIOCRITY…
Use the Force Luke! :- )
Cheers
Stephen G
Dang, Stephen; unless something else really good happens to me in the next 14.5 hours, you just made my day! Thank you.
Have you ever noticed how similar writing is to cooking? It takes ages to prepare and then some ‘walking neo-cortex’ comes along and digests it in seconds :- )
You’re welcome mate….and thank you.
Cheers
Stephen G
I think this Copyblogger article supports Winston’s position:
http://www.copyblogger.com/billy-mays-selling/
Hi Paul, I was checking back on your blog (as I usually do) and couldn’t believe I missed this discussion!
So, I was stewing over the words to find a meaningful response and have decided to go with my gut on this. Here goes:
For me “Are you a speaker or a ZINGer?” isn’t black and white. I love your writing style. Often I’ve thought “I wish I wrote that” on looking at your work and website. But here’s the thing…
I agree with Malcolm, in that as a writer adding a little ZING to a message goes a long way. For many pieces of work it is our job to get people to act. Write to Sell and all that, right?
At the same time, it’s all about reinforcing your brand too (and being yourself). Anything too outlandish and a prospect can put your message in the ‘trying to hard’ basket.
Me? I have one thing etched into my memory by a mentor of mine: Focus on your reader and everything else will follow.
Hope this adds something meaningful.
Lee
Sorry! I just realised I said Malcolm rather than Winston. Apologies.
Thanks a lot, Lee. You always add great meaning to our debates and I’m very pleased you’ve done the same to this one. It does require some thinking, this issue; but I do like your ‘mentor etch’ a lot!
I’ve been practising my ZINGing on eBay. Below is my sales pitch for a keyring. What do you reckon?
Twelve years ago, I had a zydeco thrash band. It was called Fluffy’s Chain.
We played just twice, but to 300 rabid fans each time.
We brought the house down. Then we split up, in order to become a pristine legend.
I had 200 keyrings made to sell at our gigs. Along with T-shirts and stubbie holders.
Only a handful of mint units remain. The rest have been loved to bits. Literally.
No more will ever be made. You could own one of them.
Pull this baby out at your next keyring convention and watch your rivals explode with jealousy and rage!
My business is at http://www.thefeistyempire.com and I’ve no wish to gain notoriety for selling shonky stuff. So you can proceed with confidence.
Rock on!
Good onya mate…Nice! :- )
It seems you’re becoming quite the ‘ZINGster’ :- )
I reckon just add this to the line “You could own one of them”:
‘…or ALL of them.’
Good luck :- )
Cheers
Stephen G
Good idea! That line is going into my very next ad. The perfect trigger for true collectors. Many thanks!
[...] I need to improve my offer, reduce the price and add zing. [...]