Show & Tell
Et voila! Avec le lapin!
Cheryl Cigan, our American friend, kindly suggested we do a show-and-tell post.
The object of this game is to use your comment to give us a snapshot of what you’re up to and where your business is at.
Plugs, links, skites, wins, pics, pitches, write ups, testimonials and shameless promos are all warmly welcomed.
So knock yourself out!
Naomi and I will go first, in case you need a thought starter:
The Feisty Empire
After 18 relatively quiet months, there’s been some real movement at the station lately.
Clients seem to be emerging from hibernation, perhaps as the Australian economy continues to lead the entire world out of the global financial crisis.
While California pays contractors with IOUs, Empire Staff have been busy earning realio trulio revenue from a growing number of blog posts, a big spike in recruitment (job) ads and an exciting new ebook.
The mood is upbeat, as evidenced by a recent addition to the cafeteria Muzak tape by our enthusiastic work experience student.
Though a bit ‘young’, the title certainly captures the zeitgeist at Empire House.
In summary, if recent data can be safely extrapolated, happy days appear to be here again.
Over to you, Naomi! 
MYOB
Thanks, Paul; sounds like things are really thrumming at the Empire. Nice work!
Well, MYOB has been buzzing with activity in recent months.
Early this year I had the opportunity to join this Small Business Owner blog and work with Paul and all the fabulous folk who contribute (you!).
This blog is one of the (many) favourite parts of my job!
Aside from exciting product releases this year, the MYOB team were proud to be part of the Telstra Business Awards. Such inspirational businesses!
We were excited to showcase Love Your Work – starring real clients. And even more thrilled to launch the $20K MYOB Business Grant (it closes 5 September, so get your entry in!).
Last month, we shared great insights into possible election policies business owners would vote for or against.
And this week highlighted positive news from the latest MYOB Business Monitor. Way to go Aussie businesses!
There’s lots more to tell – but instead of rabbiting on, it’s back to you Paul!
Love Your Work everyone!
You & Your Business
Wow, Naomi; I had no idea you guys had so much on the go!
Many thanks for the field report.
And now the spotlight swings to our dear readers.
Tell us everything by throwing your hat in the ring
So that 3000+ SMEs (and their pets) may beat a path to your door!
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
The Business Leader of the Future
Today the Small Business Owner blog welcomes James Mason, Managing Director of Mindshop, a provider of support services to fast track the success of Business Leaders and Advisors around the world. James shares his insights into being the business leader of the future.
World strategy guru and author, Gary Hamel in his best-selling book “The Future of Management” points out that traditional ways of managing a business are coming to an end. To quote him directly:
“New problems demand new principles. Put bluntly, there’s simply no way to build tomorrow’s essential organizational capabilities—resilience, innovation and employee engagement—atop the scaffolding of 20th century management principles”
Another business thought-leader, Alex Osterwalder talks about the urgent need for ‘business model innovation’ in his publications where he states that:
“Companies that aren’t able to systematically rejuvenate their business model will struggle to survive and thrive in the future”
When you combine the innovative, clever thinking from these guru’s with the avalanche of other new management thinking which has become much more readily available over the past 10 years thanks to the power of the internet the big question is this:
“What is a Business Leader of the future supposed to do next?”
Adopting all of it would have any Business Leader twisted into knots attempting to be the world’s best motivator, creative thinker, leader, strategist, team player, coach or lean specialist whilst driving the most innovative business model for their industry?
Whilst it is inspiring to hear stories of Steve Jobs from Apple or how Google drive their operations how does the leader of a successful medium sized business decide what latest thinking to take on board? How do they decide what is right for their business? How do they make it stick?
To assist Business Leaders determine what first steps to take for future success we have compiled the 10 key traits of a future business leader (see below).
To start the process first analyse WHERE you want to be as a business in 5 years time. This will provide a peg in the ground for the amount of evolution required for you as a Business Leader. Use this to help in the gap analysis exercise (below):
Top 10 traits of a Future Business Leader
Rate on a scale of -5 to +5 with -5 being ‘Very Low’ and +5 being ‘Very High’ how much you agree with each statement below? First complete it for where you are NOW and then WHERE you want to be:
Question Now Where Gap
- I act as a ‘coach’ rather than a ‘manager’?
- The business can function effectively without me?
- I have a simple, clear approach to developing strategies?
- I have a high level of ‘self awareness’ or Emotional Intelligence?
- I have strong financial management skills?
- I am a good communicator?
- I am a good listener?
- I have a strong network of peers to use as a strategic sounding board?
- I am a good implementer, things get done when I’m involved?
- I have strong life-balance?
Once you have completed the gap analysis identify your top three largest gaps. These should now become your three strategies to work on to become a more effective ‘Business Leader of the Future’. Implementing these strategies effectively with robust actions is your next challenge.
Whilst it is inspiring to read these latest management books and new management thinking it is critical to remember that it is a journey and there are clear steps that need to be achieved first before you can reach your end goals. Attempting to race straight to the perceived finish line will have a negative impact on both yourself, your team and your business.
Will you have what it takes to succeed?
James Mason, Managing Director, Mindshop
The Bigger Issues
The Big Issue is a fabulous way for homeless and marginalised people to improve their health, well-being, social connection and self-worth.
This sterling initiative also offers valuable sales lessons to business people.
Two Cities
I live in a schizophrenic area.
Hip Street teems with bright, well-heeled young things in groovy restaurants.
Just a few blocks away, Mean Street is haunted by a broad spectrum of lost souls.
Vendors of The Big Issue operate in both these zones, and the contrast is striking.
Plan A
As a former young thing, I spent many evenings in groovy restaurants.
In those days, The Big Issue vendor for Hip Street was a hearty man with a big voice and a killer smile.
Rather than stand silent on some corner, he marched into every eatery, greeted each diner and asked if they’d buy a copy.
His timing was exquisite.
He appeared in the early evening, after work, late in the week.
His numerous prospective clients were at ease, on their second chardonnay, in the warm company of loved ones.
Every time this beguiling vendor accosted me, I seemed to have a garlic prawn in my mouth.
Was I really going to deny him a few bucks?
Plan B
On the other side of the tram tracks, a very different story.
A mid-winter Monday on Mean Street.
A vendor hovers outside a pharmacy, passed by a trickle of pained prescription seekers.
Tenacious and resolute, this man pitches to every prospect.
But they’re sick, hung-over, late for work, or all three.
At each refusal, the vendor’s tone becomes more strident and desperate.
This merely increases the speed and firmness of subsequent knockbacks.
And so the spiral descends.
Analysis
I don’t know how much control vendors have over the style, timing and location of their pitch.
That’s why I’ve invited The Big Issue to comment on this post.
I do know that in sales, timing and setting can be everything.
We learned in Ten Tee Tips that it’s fatal to bother retailers during their busy lunch trade.
I’ve since seen plenty of signs in local businesses warning sales reps to show their wares only during non-peak times.
We’ve also noted that a 30-minute chat at a relaxed barbeque can beat months of cold calling.
If I’ve learned these lessons the hard way, perhaps you have others to share.
Feedback
With reference to your field, what are the best ways, times and places you’ve pitched or sold over the years?
What have been your most dismal failures?
If we share our learnings, we should all prosper together.
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
Will You Won’t You Join the Dance?
Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Do you have a will?
Many people are too scared, squeamish or confident of immortality to make one.
Yet if you’re in business, you really should.
One of my Brutal Briefing Questions for new clients is:
What would happen to your business if you died tonight?
More than 80% say their business would die with them!
Flitting round the world from meeting to seminar to presentation means we may collide one day.
And when you run a business, your death isn’t just about you.
Battle of Wills
First there’s your partner – and I mean both kinds.
If you leave early, could your co-vivant or business buddy possibly:
- Find and consolidate your various income streams and investments?
- Manage, sell or liquidate your business and its assets?
- Take and keep control of your intellectual property?
- Look after your staff?
Without a will, the best outcome is that you thrust a hideous, complex burden on those you trust and love, at the very moment they’re crushed by your demise.
The worst outcome is that your bed and board fellows don’t see eye-to-eye and start a war that destroys everyone and thing.
Do you really want that to befall your pets, parents, kids, clients, friends, suppliers, life’s work or legacy?
Will Power
The second thing about wills is that the standard form (or kit) doesn’t prompt you for modern developments like:
- Passwords.
- Online content (blogs, Squidoo lenses, ebooks).
- Passive income (affiliate, AdSense).
- Online identities (Twitter, Facebook).
Some of these will live as long as the Internet – generating residual income and kudos that should accrue to your estate long after you’re gone.
I notice one switched-on law firm now offers packaged services to run or wind up your online affairs after the show.
My Will
I wish to offer my organs and be placed in a biodegradable cardboard box signed by funeral attendees.
I then wish to be fed haltingly into a cremation device whose conveyor (apparently malfunctioning) will be synced by a hidden DJ to Spike Milligan’s Q5 Piano Tune.
I want my ashes scattered in a ten-metre diameter circle around my favourite seat in my favourite park, so my wife and doggies may literally sit in my company if they so wish.
These fatal attractions are not intuitive.
That’s why I’ve set them in print and discussed them with all involved.
That way, there’ll be no surprises, confusion or wrangling on the day.
I’d like to leave people laughing as I go.
And I hope to end up here.
My Won’t
Though explicit, my will is several years old.
I now have myriad online interests that no single person could hope to penetrate.
So I’m going to update my will with full administrative details very soon.
Then, if I’m clubbed to death by a childhood rival, Fonnie need only choose the charity to which my flower money goes.
I see the documentation of my wishes and the illumination of my affairs as a final, parting gift to my One True Love.
So, if you’re still too timid to express your will, think of those close to you and maybe think again.
And if you’d like to try before you buy it, check out Liferal.
Thy Will Be Done
I don’t expect to learn your final wishes (though that would be fascinating).
I do suspect you may have tales of funny, handy or faulty wills that illustrate some of these points.
Failing that, I’d like to know why you have or haven’t done a testament.
In fact,
I’m willing you on.
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
Call to Arms
((( TRANSMITTING )))
Just when you think it’s safe to get back to business, one of your gun staff leaves.
This has happened to Andrew Preston. You’ve met him before.
Just as I should be ace at birthday cards, this recruiter ought to find a new employee in a snap.
But the world is awfully different today.
Situation
Yes, Andrew’s ally is Australia’s finest job ad writer.
However:
- No-one reads newspaper ads any more.
- The best people already have jobs.
- If he doesn’t move fast, competitors may target his clients.
- Candidates are far more interested in their careers than his business.
So it seems we must go lateral.
Battle Plan
- Write an email telling everyone exactly what’s going on (Appendix 1).
- Divvy up client and candidate portfolios to ensure no-one’s service suffers.
- Put an ad in SEEK, which is where our audience hangs these days.
- Hit our personal networks – including my wife, who happens to be attending a recruitment consultants’ reunion next fortnight!
- Do the relatively new thing of offering a $500 bounty to the person who recommends the successful applicant.
- Try something completely new, by writing this blog post.
This last measure is very risky – like cutting your calf on coral while corralled by cartilaginous carnivores.
Once they scent blood, there could be a frenzy.
In his defence, Andrew’s client relationships span decades.
And his crew is tough enough to carry the fight till relief arrives.
Orders
The job involves:
- placing high-level professionals (engineers, draftspeople);
- with very large organisations (ERM, QLD Govt);
- working on insanely huge projects (ports, rail yards).
Base salary is $60-80K, but $120K is possible if you’re good.
I won’t bore you with details; but I’ll link to the SEEK ad when we do it. [And here it is!]
If this blog tactic works, Andrew’s new person could start Monday.
If not, I’ll have a gripping dispatch about how I blasted his $6M life’s work into a smoking ruin.
Either way, it should be interesting.
Your Turn
What do you think of our approach?
Has your business ever lost a vital team member?
How did it affect you?
How did you replace them?
How long did it take you to recover?
Appendix 1
Farewell X
Please forgive the non-addressed nature of this email; I wanted to get the news out fast.
One of our consultants, X, is leaving us to explore other opportunities.
Having appreciated X’s ideas and energy for well over three years, we’re sad to see him go.
I’ve told X the door is open, should he ever wish to return.
Until we source a replacement (which shouldn’t take us very long!) Y and I will look after X’s clients and candidates.
If X was looking after you, one of us will contact you personally to ensure a seamless transition.
If Y or I are already your primary contact, you needn’t do a thing.
Except know that our service standards will not suffer one jot.
Meanwhile, if you have any needs or questions, please call me (management), Y (operations) or Z (administration).
Best regards and talk soon.
Andrew Preston, Managing Director, Blyss Personnel.
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
Black Marketing
Nice, but VERY naughty.
Last month a pub taught me a lesson.
Their new customer loyalty program is inspired.
Unfortunately, it’s also illegal.
That aside, this story flags a wellspring of ideas from which we can draw.
Beer O’Clock
It was a cold, huddle-at-home night that required just a couple more beers.
I braved the rain to the only place open – a hotel I use maybe once a quarter.
The owner, always chatty, asked if I wanted to borrow one of his movies – gratis.
I was so surprised by this offer that I gratefully chose ‘Doubt’ with Meryl Streep.
Tempted
The street was even darker than the bar, so it wasn’t till I returned home that I saw a burnt DVD in a convincing photocopy cover.
As an artist, I vehemently decry piracy.
And yet, bored and tipsy, my inner demon took over and I watched the film.
It was OK.
Morning After
The next day, I realised the elegance of this nefarious device.
The pub owner had done me a ‘favour’: it behoved me to return his contraband.
And since it was a borrowed DVD, I was conditioned to do this in seven days or less.
Were I to keep the disc or call the cops, I’d sever a late-night supply line.
And of course, back in the bottle shop, need or courtesy would ensure my repeat custom.
Dirty Dozen
Not wishing to compound my viewing crime, I returned the DVD without further purchase.
Though not a ‘dobber’, I felt this tale worth telling.
It got me thinking about the rich history of hotel initiatives* to attract and retain customers (and maximise their spend).
In roughly chronological order, I can recall:
- Raffles.
- Pool competitions.
- Football tipping.
- Darts leagues.
- Lucky scratch tickets.
- Juke (and now video) boxes.
- Beer gardens.
- Big-screen sport events.
- Poker machines.
- Kids’ playgrounds.
- Free party hosting.
- Membership cards.
- Emailed birthday deals.
That’s 13 bizgen ideas from the vendors of a costly carcinogen.
Many of which have nothing to do with the product!
Maybe you can think of more.
Glass Half Full
I took a critical look at my business and realised I don’t offer nearly the number or variety of ‘goodies’.
My best freebie is to coach ambitious clients to better English by flagging errors in their emails.
(And you can believe not everyone values that service!)
I think I need to lift my game.
How about you?
In delighting your clients, how do (or could) you think outside the cardboard box?
Get into the spirit.
Your valuable content will elicit
Cheers!
* Not the pub in question.
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
Law of the Letter
Another gym membership down the drain.
What is it with gym memberships?!
Like napalm, they cling and burn no matter what you do.
I was pleased to see the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission agreed with our assessment of that Gold Coin to Join ‘deal’.
Alas, I’ve had less success at my local pool.
Technically, they’re correct.
Morally, I feel twisted and hung out to dry.
See what you think.
I Said
Dear Team,
I’m going away for a bit.
Could you please suspend my membership immediately and reactivate it effective 26 July?
Best regards, P.
She Said
Hi Paul,
Unfortunately we are unable to suspend your membership as requested, as you have already used your maximum 62 suspension days this year.
If you do require your membership to be inactive while you are away, you are able to cancel your membership and rejoin within six months without paying a joining fee.
Kind regards, X.
I Said
Thank you, X.
Could you please cancel my membership immediately?
Regards, P.
She Said
Dear Paul,
As I did not hear back from you prior to your email today, unfortunately you have missed the cut off to prevent the next debit being processed, which is the 25th of each month. You will still be able to access our facilities until the 27th of August, so your cancellation will be effective of this date.
Your reference number is CLC 32018
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your patronage and wish you all the best for your future endeavours. If you wish to re-join our facility within the next six months, we would like to offer you no joining fee.
I have attached a copy of the terms and conditions for your perusal.
I Said
That is a literal interpretation of a mean-spirited policy, X.
Your records will show that I haven’t been there for weeks.
If you need my money that badly, I guess you’d better keep it.
What a shame. 
She Said
Nothing.
Right & Wrong
She sure nailed me to the floorboards with that policy. Absoloodle.
Justice has been served. Or has it?
A month before this exchange, I returned from a swim to find a putative thief had flung my possessions around the change room.
I alerted the receptionist, expecting her reaction to include:
- Oh, you poor dear! That must be unsettling.
- Goodness! Is anything missing?
- Would you mind showing Bert where you hung/found your bag?
- Thanks so much for letting us know!
- All of the above.
Instead, she said:
- We’re not liable for possessions stolen from bags left on hooks.
- That’s why we have lockers.
- You should’ve used a locker.
- It’s in the policy.
Dampener
Another (new) policy is to charge members $3 each time they forget their card.
And a sign has appeared near the sauna urging patrons not to spit.
All this has dampened my urge to swim.
The pool is run by my council, with my rates, for my health.
Is my community so rabid that all these policies must be enforced with such rigour?
Could any of us business owners foist kindred measures on our customers?
Please jump in with your comments.
The water (at least) is fine.
Epilogue
I recently got a letter from the pool’s Sales, Retention & Events Officer.
Amid exhortations to buy a $60 Personal Training session …
He Said
Hi Paul,
We’ve been wondering where you are! It’s been a while since we last saw you in the Centre.
We want to make sure you get the most from your membership so if there is anything we can do to help you, please drop in and see us or give us a call.
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
Solar Flare
For once, the sun will set on Empire.
You may recall my enthusiastic bid to switch Empire House to solar power.
Alas, this initiative has failed, but not without imparting valuable lessons.
Perhaps you’ll make a better fist of it than I.
Price Crash
As a long-time fan of Origin Energy’s green credentials, I jumped at their offer to buy $5000* solar panels via a 24-month payment plan.
I signed the contract, only to see a week later that the price had fallen to $4500.
Heart in mouth, I emailed my contact, asking if the lower rate could apply to me.
To my amazement, it did!
My joy at getting $500 of my $1000 deposit back was only partly sullied by the fact that Origin hadn’t told me about this impending sale when I bought.
But I figured business was business, and happily took the win.
A fortnight later, the price dropped to $4000.
Pushing the Friendship
I got back to my contact and promised to add him to my Christmas card list if he could wangle a second refund.
After a few weeks, I got another $500 back.
This was enough for me to eulogise Origin on Twitter.
Never had I known a company (let alone a utility) to bend the rules and give money back.
My elation, however, was tempered the following month, when the price dropped to $3000.
This time, I promised my long-suffering contact to name my firstborn after him (a safe bet, for those who know me).
But before he could grant my third and final wish, fate intervened.
Site Visit
Two days before the panels were due to be installed, a technician finally came to suss out my home.
I was relieved at this, having nursed a sense of unease from the outset that ten grand of kit could be plonked on my roof sight unseen.
The news wasn’t good.
Seemed the lass who viewed my roof via Google Earth thought I had more sloping roof than I did.
The technician wasn’t pleased. Me neither. And as he started describing possible ‘workarounds’ my hideous renovation memories resurfaced.
Back on the ground, I got another surprise.
Part of the system involved placing a large voltage inverter (or something) on the front of my home.
I never saw this on the brochure. And while the unit would cause no problem to a normal dwelling, my frangible, 120-year-old, 4-metre-wide doll’s house was a different cup of whitebait.
The combined effect of these shocks, coupled with my inability to survive another negative tradie experience, made me (very sadly) pull the pin on the project.
Exit Wound
Origin were apologetic and understanding. Though, due to high demand, it took them many weeks to refund the four payments I’d already made.
I’m terribly sorry I can’t do solar. But I hope the busyness of Origin (and their falling prices) mean people are taking up this beaut offer at a great rate of watts.
I’m now seeing ads from other installers offering the same system for just $2700.
If more people see the light, economies of scale will reduce prices even further.
As a cost-benefit exercise for home owners, business people and Earth lovers, solar power is a no-brainer.
However, if your wings contain wax, don’t get too high.
I’d love to know what you think of all this.
Please add your comment for a place in the sun.
*All prices rounded to the nearest $100 for readability.
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
Leverage
I’m mighty impressed with my client, Naomi Oakley, from U-NOME Security Services.
When she got on national television the other week, she chased up the footage and got her IT boffin to put it front and centre on her website.
Though the word ‘leverage’ has been done to death, this is its true meaning: taking something you’ve already done and making the most of it.
Now I’m leveraging Naomi’s content further, by putting it in this blog post. She’s bound to get more visitor traffic, brand recognition and business as a result.
Show Up!
Whether you appear on radio, in a newspaper or at a school, Rotary meeting or anywhere else, be sure to capture your performance.
Then, use it every way you can to stamp credibility all over your brand.
People prefer you to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’ what you can do. It’s far more believable.
I have my best media performances in my home page too.
Each time you re-use high quality content, it’s money for jam.
So go for it!
And if you haven’t appeared in the media yet, you should jolly well get out there!
Channel Surf
Most media channels are crying out for good content.
You just have to ask the right people the right way.
For instance, when doing media (press) releases, I always ask the editors of target publications if they have submission guidelines. I then tweak my content to follow their rules.
When they get my piece, it ticks all their boxes and they don’t have to change a word. Good for them, me and my client.
Keeping in touch with (especially local) newspapers is a great way to find out if they have ‘holes’ in a particular issue.
If someone pulls a big ad, or a story doesn’t make deadline, your ready-to-rock, half-page editorial could do them a favour. Saving you thousands.
Being topical is vital. Add specific expertise and you have a killer combo.
For years, whenever a teen got injured by gate crashers or alcohol-fuelled violence, Naomi offered her perspective to various media channels.
Now, because she’s such a recognised expert in her field, media channels contact her for comment.
She’s gone from local rags, to state-wide newspapers, to regional radio, to national radio to TV. Now she’s on the internet, and global gigs can’t be far away.
Naomi started with nothing but hard-earned knowledge and a burning desire to champion change.
This means we can all do likewise in our areas.
For free.
More is More
Since we’re talking leveraging, I suppose I should turn this blog post into a Squidoo Lens.
And while I’m at it, let’s bung it on my Practical Social Media Tips blog.
And it just occurred to me that we should add it to Naomi’s Secure in the Knowledge blog. (I must get onto that … )
Get the picture?
Make something once, use it many times, and let these various iterations connect with their respective communities while you sleep.
Lever & Kitchen guarantee it!*
So how are you tracking on the big screen: good, bad or ugly?
* Just kidding; I thought it sounded good.
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire
Radio. Get ‘em Where They Live!
Radio ads are cheaper than you may think.
Radio ads are so cheap and effective, I’m amazed clients don’t use them more often.
They’re particularly useful when your audience is remote, passive or oblivious to your existence.
Radio is great fun to do. And because people choose to listen, it really gets them where they live.
Here are my radio learnings, in case you’d like to have a go.
Types of Radio Ad
There are two main types of radio ad: ‘straight read’ and ‘theatre of the mind’.
The former is cheaper (and more common, in my experience).
The latter uses music, sound effects and characters to create a story. This naturally leaves less time to convey information.
Straight Read
In a straight read, you usually have 30 seconds.
This is enough to speak about 90 words without rushing. I always avoid the frenzied garble you hear at the end of political announcements.
You need to time yourself reading your ad several times to ensure it’s viable. This also flags phrases that are difficult to speak.
Since all you have is a single voice, you must make the cadence good – even lyrical. The words need to be clear and engaging, as well as informative.
This is difficult if you want your ad to convey a lot of information, so you need to weigh every word to ensure it deserves its place in the script.
You also need to examine each word to see if a shorter synonym can replace it.
Rather than give long lists of products, locations, opening times etc, I recommend you opt for a single point of inquiry (e.g. a website) from which listeners can obtain detailed information.
It’s tricky when key details (like phone numbers or awkward web addresses) need to be repeated to give people time to write them down. These can account for 15% of the total time.
When branding is important, the rule of thumb is to name your product or business three times in the ad to ensure it sticks in the mind.
You’ll need to decide whether your target audience requires any special treatment (e.g. age, ethnicity). If in doubt, write your ad so every listener aged six and over can understand you.
You can suggest a voice (e.g. middle-aged ‘blokey’ Australian – like Bill Hunter) but most straight reads are cheaply produced at the radio station with in-house talent.
Theatre of the Mind
Theatre of the mind radio ads are wonderful to invent, but much harder to pull off. You need confident talent, a good studio, an accomplished technician and a BIG sound effects library.
Some radio stations have highly experienced teams. I’ve seen them banging ads out like sausages, with nary a second take.
If using one of these, however, have a listen to their previous work first. There are a couple of cheesy producers and intensely irritating voices out there that make even the finest products sound like nappy wash.
Another thing to avoid is ‘home grown’ talent. If you or loved ones fancy a stint in the limelight, don’t do it. Even acting students freeze when the red globe goes on, as I’ve learned to my cost.
Samples
Here are some straight read radio ads (with my analyses). Click the link and arrows to play:
- Government House Open Day. OK effort, with appropriate voice and music.
- New Cardiac Units. A simple, serious read, as you’d expect for this topic.
- Riverslide Skate Park. One of my faves. Great voice, music and SFX. Tight production.
- Indigenous Sport Development. Clear and simple, with an appropriate voice.
- Driver Recruitment. Serviceable treatment of an OK idea.
I wrote all these ads, but a lot can change between writing and performance. It’s rare for my vision to translate perfectly into reality.
Theatre of the mind ads are even harder to get from page to play. So hard, in fact, I don’t have any samples I’m completely happy with.
So, I guess the message is keep it simple unless you really know what you’re doing.
Well, the lines are open.
We warmly welcome your calls.
Paul Hassing, Founder & Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire